


The Hardest Part of Remembering

by LucindaAM



Series: Lovers Lost to Time; Soulmate AU [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, I cut you, Light Swearing, No Smut, Shared soulmate injuries, She bleeds, Third Sequel to Flip Side of Heaven, so much freaking angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26464156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucindaAM/pseuds/LucindaAM
Summary: Third Sequel to "Flip Side of Heaven"Torture doesn't always mean leaving physical scars. You learn that the hard way. Two weeks after ULTRON was defeated, you're still in the clutches of Bucky Barnes only he's more Winter Soldier than Bucky Barnes. Lucky, (or maybe unlucky) for you, he knows about your connection to your soulmate and he's willing to go above and beyond to keep Steve from noticing that you aren't actually as safe as he thinks.Bucky may not remember much, but he does know one thing; You know who he used to be and he's desperate to figure that out. He'll do whatever it takes to find the answers.You may not like the consequences.Highly recommended that you the first two parts first. There's some serious noncanon that will make parts of this confusing otherwise.
Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/reader (Kinda), Reader & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Reader
Series: Lovers Lost to Time; Soulmate AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867126
Comments: 191
Kudos: 50





	1. Something's Not Right

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to wait to post this until I got a little bit more written so I could post more regularly, but I couldn't help myself! I'm SO excited to share this one with you guys. Thanks for all the love and comments so far. This has quickly become my favorite series to reread and to write and none of it would have been possible if you guys hadn't encouraged me to keep writing it.
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> Special thanks to MrsxFredWeasley who's been helping me out with titles. You're the best!

Steve----------------- 

Steve was having a hard time focusing on his paperwork. It was becoming a reoccurring problem as of late. He ran an agitated hand through his hair as he read the same line on the file for the thousandth time in a row. Suddenly, a flash of something too familiar shot past the door. 

“Sweetheart?!” Steve called, his head shooting up. 

There was a pause before the person retraced their steps and Clint poked his head through the door. “You say something, Steve?” He asked, munching on a granola bar. 

Steve deflated. 

Clint tried not to take it personally. 

“No. Sorry, Barton. Thought I saw someone else.” 

Clint nodded knowingly. “Missing her hard, huh?” 

Steve nodded slowly. 

“How long’s it been?” Barton asked. 

“Almost two weeks.” Steve let out a breath and slumped in his chair. 

Clint nodded again. “The waiting is the hardest part for Laura too.” He said, leaning against the doorjam. “But you shouldn’t worry. Babushka knows what she’s doing. She’s the best of the best.” 

Steve laughed wearily. “You never did tell me how the two of you met.” He said. 

Barton smiled. “And there’s a good reason for that. You want to know, you’ll have to ask her. Otherwise it’s a secret I’m taking to my grave.” 

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “What are you doing here?” He asked, finally finding enough concentration to remember Barton had officially put in for retirement a week ago. Laura had been on her own enough, Clint had decided. After the dumpster fire that had been ULTRON, all Clint wanted to do was spend time with his family. Steve hadn’t been able to blame him. In fact, since ULTRON Steve had been doing some thinking of his own. He had some things he wanted to talk to you about; if you’d only come home. 

Clint shrugged a shoulder. “Tony wanted me to stop by. He made me a new security system for the farm. Needed blueprints of the house to program the thing accurately.” 

“And let me guess, you’re the only one with blueprints.” 

Clint smirked. “You’d be right. Babushka got them for me. Said she didn’t want her pseudo grandkids to be found. She actually helped program the old system.” 

A slew of mixed emotions welled up in Steve just like it always did when he heard about the family you’d built yourself while he’d been frozen away. Not for the first time, he wondered how your lives would be different if he hadn’t gone into the ice. Would you have kids? Would you be surrounded by grandkids now? 

Steve liked to think he would have been a good father. Better than his own at least, although that was a low bar to set. 

“Well, I won’t keep you. I’m sure Laura and the kids are waiting.” 

Clint nodded and smiled softly. “Yeah. Cooper’s been begging to learn how to shoot a bow and arrow for months now and I finally have the time to teach him.” 

Clint shrugged off the doorway and turned to Steve more fully. “You know, you and Nat should come up some time. The kids would love to see you. I told them that you were Babushka’s prince charming and now Lila won’t stop begging for Captain America action figures to help save the Babushka doll from the fearsome dragons.” 

Steve smiled at the imagery and nodded slowly. “Thanks, Barton. I just may take you up on that.” 

Clint smiled and waved a hand before he turned and continued on his path towards the hanger. 

He saw Nat in the hall ahead of him and jogged to meet her. “Hey, Nat!” He called. 

Nat turned her head and waited for Clint to catch up. “Hey, birdbrain. I didn’t know you were coming for a visit.” 

Clint rolled his eyes. “Please, Nat. You know everything that happens here.” 

Nat chuckled. “Yeah, well, I was trying to start a conversation.” 

“You can do better than that.” 

“Yeah? We’re conversing aren’t we?” Nat smiled. 

Clint shook his head in amusement. “Listen, I gotta go. Laura and the kids are waiting, I just wanted to talk to you for a second.” 

“What’s going on?” 

Clint glanced around the hall, looking for eavesdroppers before he pulled Nat into a more secluded corner. 

“You’re starting to freak me out here, Clint.” Nat said, her posture tensing as she waited for Clint to say what he needed to say. 

“Listen, you asked me to keep an eye out and that’s all this is; me keeping an eye out. It may be nothing . . .” 

“Or it may be something.” Nat finished. “I trust your gut, Clint. What’s wrong?” 

Clint shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. “Steve’s seeing things again.” 

Nat let out a slow breath. It could have been worse, she knew that, but somehow this made all her senses go on high alert. “You sure about this?” 

Clint nodded. “He thought I was Babushka when I passed his office just now. And come on, I like to think that this doesn’t look anything like her. Gorgeous as she is.” Clint gestured at his body and Nat nodded slowly. 

“Plus, Nat, there were still reports on ULTRON on his desk. You ever remember seeing him take two weeks to finish his paperwork before?” Clint shook his head. “He’s the biggest stickler for regulations I’ve ever seen. I’d say he was a buzzkill if I didn’t remember the time he got drunk on Asgardian mead.” 

Nat bit her lip, her brow furrowed as she attacked the problem in her head. Something was wrong. She could feel it. But it still felt like she was missing some of the pieces to the puzzle. 

“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll keep an eye on it.” She said finally. 

Clint nodded and slipped out of the corner. “I already invited Steve, but I’ll tell you too; the kids have been begging for a visit from their favorite crime fighting family. Hope you can make it sometime.” 

Nat smiled. “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll keep you posted.” 

Clint smiled once more before he turned and headed back to the hanger leaving a very concerned Nat in his wake. 

It was time to do some investigating of her own. 

Nat slipped into her room and locked the door behind her. “STEPAN? Can you pull up video surveillance of Steve’s office?” 

Nat had uploaded your version of JARVIS to her personal devices almost as soon as she’d moved into the compound. Listening to the soft accent made her feel close to you. Especially when you were away. 

The video surveillance appeared on screen and Nat watched her grandfather worriedly. His eyes seemed glazed over as they scanned a single line of his file over and over again. Even over video, Nat could make out the dark bags under his eyes. He clearly hadn’t been sleeping. It couldn’t be separation anxiety, could it? 

Nat shook her head and dismissed the idea. Since the two of you had been reunited both you and Steve had gone on missions longer than this. 

No, something else was going on. 

Nat sat on her bed and crossed her legs, she rested her elbows on her knees and leaned forward, watching as Steve tried to work through his stack of paperwork. 

Something else was going on. She just needed to figure it out. 

Miles away, The Winter Soldier brushed some of your hair out of your face as your head lolled. “I’m sorry to do this to you, doll.” He murmured as he adjusted you in the decrepit chair he’d found abandoned in one of the empty offices. “I can’t let you go until I know more, and you have all the answers I need.” 

His hands clenched at his sides as he took in your unconscious appearance. Dark bags were prominently etched under your eyes. Your face looked harsher than it had two weeks ago. Dried blood still caked your clothes and stained your face where he’d done his best to clean you up. A part of him felt guilty. He knew you had a family out there. Friends at the very least. There were people who were no doubt missing you. But a bigger part of him, the louder and more violent part of him knew that you were the answer to what he’d been looking for. That part urged him to pull out his knives and carve into you until you told him everything he wanted to know. It took everything in him to reign that part of himself in. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to. 

He sighed and slipped into the shadows, heading for town to pick up a few supplies. One way or another, he would get his answers. He just hoped it wouldn’t come to that.


	2. Tough Situations

Steve---------------- 

Nat walked into Steve’s office and waited five whole minutes before he glanced up at her. He did a double take. 

“Oh. Vnchka. I didn’t see you there. Did you need something?” He asked. 

Nat observed him with a critical eye. For the first time since he’d come out of the ice, he was starting to look his age. Her brows furrowed in concentration as she tried to understand what that meant. “Just thought I’d check in on you.” She said casually. “You’ve been locked up in here all day.” 

Steve blinked at her a few times before his attention was directed to the clock hanging on the wall above Nat’s head. “Oh. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late.” He said slowly. 

Nat nodded. “How about we go get some dinner, Dedushka?” She asked gently. “You look like you could use a good meal.” 

Steve smiled tiredly as he picked up his coat from the back of his chair and nodded at his granddaughter. “You know, that sounds great. Do you have a place in mind?” 

Nat nodded again. “Yeah. You’re buying.” 

Steve chuckled. “Of course.” 

Nat got Steve settled into her SUV and started on the long drive into town. Four times, Steve fell asleep only to jerk back awake suddenly. Nat couldn’t help but glance at him in concern. This was more than just stress keeping him awake. No. A sinking feeling started growing in her gut that this had to do with the soulmate bond between you and him. 

So the question was, what was happening to you? 

You------------ 

You tried to keep your eyes open. You really did. But you couldn’t help it as they drifted shut and your head tipped forward as exhaustion swept you up again. 

As your head tipped forward, the laser pointer aimed at your head no longer had the obstacle in front of it and it made contact with the sensor on the opposite side. A blaring sound filled the large warehouse you were trapped in and your head jerked up as adrenaline once again shot through you. 

A lifetime of training had you sweeping your surroundings for information before you really understood what was happening. You took in several facts in quick succession. The air was cold and dry. There was an almost distinct flavor to it that you knew you could very easily be hallucinating, but you could have sworn you were somewhere in Eastern Europe which was a long way from Canada where you’d first tracked down the Winter Soldier. 

You shook your head and tried to clear it. 

Speaking of the Winter Soldier . . . he didn’t seem to be around. For once. 

You immediately started pulling at the binds on your arms. “Come on, come on.” You begged in hoarse whispers as you tugged weakly at the soft cloth. Something important was digging at the back of your mind, begging you to pay attention to the WHY behind the material, but you couldn’t stop to think about it now. Adrenaline was shooting through you as one thing played on repeat through your brain. ‘He’ll be back any second. He’ll be back any second.’ 

You had to get away NOW. 

Tugging on the cloth didn’t accomplish anything. Your arms too weak. You tried pulling on your legs and were vaguely alarmed to note that you could hardly feel your legs at all. Even if you somehow managed to escape, there was no telling how far you’d get in your weakened state. 

Still, the panic wouldn’t let you sit still. Tears flooded your eyes and your vision swam as you desperately wracked your exhausted mind for a solution. The vague thoughts and half-finished ideas flitted across your brain too fast for you to grasp them. As the desperation mounted, so did the grim realization that there was simply nothing you could do. 

The Winter Soldier had you right where he wanted you. 

And Steve thought you were safe. 

He wouldn’t be looking for you. 

He didn’t know you needed him. 

You were very much alone. 

Just like last time. 

Just like Russia. 

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you slumped against the chair, exhausted, starving and defeated. 

It was hopeless. 

You hammering heart slowed as the hope fled your soul and whatever instincts had woken with you faded away. They were of no use now. 

You were just so tired. 

You sang softly to yourself as you tried to keep yourself awake. The constant jolts of adrenaline shooting through you were starting to wear on your organs. You could almost feel the strain on your heart especially every time you jerked awake and were so tired of feeling the fight or flight instinct kick in only to be hindered in your ability to do either. 

So, you sang nonsensical things to yourself as you waited for The Winter Soldier to return. 

Lucky for you, you didn’t have to wait long. 

The door to the warehouse squeaked open and a soft breeze played with your hair as the Soldat returned. He had a bag in his hands that he sat on the table next to you before he wandered into the shadows looking for something else. 

You eyed the bag suspiciously. “Going to be torture, is it?” You asked, not really expecting an answer. Besides the one painful question he’d asked you in Canada; the man hadn’t said much to you. 

Sure enough, when you didn’t hear even a grunt in response, you continued. “Because I have to warn you, if you try, my soulmate will know I’m in danger and he’ll come looking for me. He won’t rest until he’s found me again.” 

Now that you thought about it, you almost wanted him to start digging into your flesh. You’d survived torture before, and at his hands no less. You could do it again. 

“I know.” 

The voice was so quiet, you almost didn’t hear it, but you hadn’t been expecting it and it made you jump all the same. You swore under your breath in Russian and The Winter Soldier emerged from the shadows in the next second. His eyes glinted dangerously and he reached out and pinched your jaw with his flesh hand. “You speak Russian?” He demanded in Russian. 

You swallowed hard at the flare of something dark and dangerous and something that you remembered well from your last playdate with The Winter Soldier. Whatever instinct was still firing in your exhausted mind warned you to tread carefully. 

In softly spoken English, you responded. “I lived in Russia for a time. I had to learn Russian to survive. Don’t you remember?” 

The Soldat stared at you for a long moment with an unreadable expression on his face before he abruptly let you go and stalked angrily away. 

You took in a shaking breath and unconsciously started pulling at the straps tying your hands to the chair again. 

The Winter Soldier faded back into the shadows and you heard furniture being shifted around. You sat as quietly as possible in your brightly lit corner of the room, doing your best to make yourself a smaller target. 

Eventually, the shifting stopped and he came back with another chair clutched tightly in his hands. He placed it in front of you and sat in it, hard. You watched as his eyes caught on his hands in his lap. The metal one was covered in a black glove, no doubt to keeping him from drawing attention when he went out in public but you both knew what it really looked like. 

He reached out and tugged his glove off, tossing the thing on the table by the bag he’d dropped off earlier. The two of you watched in silence as he turned his arm to and fro. The metal plates whirled and caught in the lights and were almost beautiful in a way. 

It was probably best you didn’t say that last part out loud. 

He seemed lost in his own thoughts, but there was an air of melancholy that you couldn’t help but empathize with. That motherly nature that had been a part of you for longer than you cared to remember, mixed with your quickly dying sanity made you open your mouth and draw his attention back to you. 

“So, torture, is it?” You asked softly, tilting your head towards the bag he’d left on the table. 

His eyes snapped to yours, once again unreadable and dark. You saw the muscle in his jaw tick and wondered what was going through that head of his before finally, he shook it and reached into the bag. You were prepared to see knives, nails, and glass bottles. Instead he pulled out a few plums and two bottles of water that looked like they’d seen better days. 

He reached into his boot and pulled out a knife that he made a feeble attempt to clean on his already dirtied shirt. You watched as he cut the plums into pieces before he reached out with his metal hand, holding one of the slices to your lips. 

You watched him closely, but it didn’t seem to be a trick and you were starving . . . 

You slowly opened your mouth and let him gently place the piece of fruit between your teeth before he yanked his hand away. 

“I’m sorry.” He said abruptly, as he looked at the fruit in his hands. 

You raised a brow as you chewed your meager dinner. “For kidnapping me?” You asked softly. 

He shook his head and you thought you saw the flash of a smirk, but it was so quick and you knew you had been hallucinating, so maybe you’d just imagined it. 

The Winter Soldier drew your attention as he gestured at your bound hands. “I don’t know you.” It was interesting how firm he’d said that. Almost as though he were trying to convince himself. “But I know you could get out of that if given the chance. I can’t risk it. Sorry.” 

That was the most you’d ever heard him say and despite the anger and exhaustion and hopelessness welling up in you; you couldn’t help but take it as a good sign. Steve and Nat weren’t going to come for you. The only hope you had left was that Bucky, your Bucky was still somewhere in there. You just needed to help let him out. 

“It’s okay.” You mumbled exhaustedly. “You just want answers. I get it.” 

He nodded slowly as he offered you another slice of plum. 

“Don’t suppose you’ll let me sleep anytime soon?” You asked, trying to smirk. 

The Winter Soldier shook his head. “Sorry.” He mumbled again. 

You sighed and tried not to let him see you cry. “It’s okay.” You mumbled. “It’s okay.” 

You didn’t know if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
> 
> Duuuuuudes!!!!!! Oh man, oh man. Poor Babushka. Poor Bucky! Poor Steve and Nat! Poor Everyone!!!
> 
> What are you guys thinking, huh? Bucky knows that Steve will come for her if he physically hurts her so he's torturing her in a creative kind of way. Sleep deprivation can have serious physical side effects and long term damage though, so, that's what's going on with Steve. 
> 
> Don't worry, though, I'm sure Nat will figure it all out soon. She's so close! 
> 
> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. (Present Day).


	3. Bitter Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot minute, my friends.
> 
> And I meant to post this chapter this morning and seem to have forgotten. Sorry this has taken so long! Hope you enjoy!

Steve------------- 

Nat was growing frustrated. It had been a week of trying to figure this out. It was like an itch she couldn’t scratch. She KNEW there was something going on but she couldn’t figure out what it would be. Steve would be showing signs you were being held against your will. Rope burn on his wrists and ankles, cuts and burns from any torture . . . Nat glanced at Steve where he was sitting at his desk, struggling to keep his eyes open and it was like a lightbulb went off above her head. 

Nat lunged at him, cursing like a sailor, and grabbed at Steve’s arm with one hand, her other scrambling for his letter opener. 

“Vnuchka?” Steve asked. 

Nat ignored him as she quickly carved twenty-two specific letters into her grandfather's arm. ‘Opasnost’, prikusite yazyk’ 

Steve yelped as she started carving and tried to pull his arm out of her grasp. Surprisingly, Nat’s grasp was firm as she quickly and mercilessly carved the message into his arm. As soon as she was done, she tossed the bloody letter opener aside and stared at Steve’s chin intensely. 

“What the hell Nat! You hurt her!” Steve ducked his head as he glanced at the carved words in his arm, already beginning to heal over. 

Steve glanced back up at his granddaughter, but before he could continue his lecture, a searing pain filled his mouth. He winced at the agony and Nat scrambled towards him. She reached up and gripped his face before she yanked his chin down ruthlessly. Her face lost all color as she looked inside Steve’s mouth and then let lose a monologue of swears as she backed away from him and fumbled for her phone. 

She turned on her heel and rushed from the room, a confused Steve following after her, spitting a glob of blood in a trash can as he passed. “What the hell is going on, Vnuchka?” He demanded, racing forward and grabbing Nat’s bicep, pulling her to a stop. 

Nat took a deep breath and turned to face him, fear burning brightly in her eyes. “I was wrong, Dedushka.” She whispered. “Babushka’s not safe. She’s in danger. I think the Winter Soldier has her. I think he’s had her the whole time.” 

Steve’s stomach dropped but he shook his head. “No. No. We would know if he had her. If he . . . if he’d hurt her.” 

Nat swallowed hard against the swell of guilt she felt rising up inside of her. Almost three weeks of radio silence and she hadn’t thought to look deeper. Hadn’t realized you needed her. You’d been alone this whole time. You would have known it too. 

Nat shook her head. “Not if he wasn’t hurting her, Dedushka.” Then, when Steve still didn’t seem like he was following; “There’s more than one way to torture a person, Steve.” 

Steve had to throw an arm out to brace himself against the wall as the true weight of her words came back to hit him. The sleepless nights, the hallucinations . . . he hadn’t been losing his mind this whole time. You had. 

And he hadn’t seen it. 

“We need to go.” Nat was ordering. “We need to go RIGHT NOW.” 

“Yeah. Yeah. We need to . . . we need to go.” Steve was struggling to breath as weeks of paranoia seemed to ram into him all at once. He slid down the wall, struggling to breath. 

Nat nursed and cradled her phone against her shoulder as she knelt next to Steve’s panicked body. She grabbed one of Steve’s hands and placed it against her chest as she instructed him to breath with her. 

“What do you want?” Tony’s voice rang in her ear. If Nat wasn’t on the verge of panicking herself, she might have called the inventor out for his lack-luster greeting. Instead, she got right to the point. 

“We have a problem.” 

Tony sighed. “What did Barton break this time?” He asked. 

Nat shook her head and patted Steve on the back as the soldier finally managed to shake himself out of his stupor. “Babushka’s in trouble.” 

Tony’s teasing tone was gone in an instant as he took Nat’s words in. Though the spy couldn’t see his face, it was clouded in a dark anger that swore vengeance upon whoever had dared hurt you. “What do you need?” His tone was dark and threatening and even Nat had to resist the urge to shudder in trepidation. 

“I need everything you got tracking her movements since ULTRON. Thor was the last one to see her in person. Find out what you can. Steve and I are going to start casting nets. I have a few contacts who might know something.” 

“You find anything, you call me.” Tony ordered. 

Nat readily agreed. “Get the rest of the team on it too.” 

Nat and Tony hung up without so much as a goodbye and Nat turned to Steve who was pushing to his feet. “Where are we going?” He asked. 

Nat glanced at his exhausted face and at his shaking hands and for a split second, debating leaving him at the compound, but in the end, her fear for you won out over her concern for her grandfather. 

“Budapest. I know a guy.” 

You---------------- 

You were beginning to lose your mind. Or maybe you had lost it. Maybe you’d never had it to begin with. The days had all blurred together. You’d lost your ability to distinguish them. Your head lolled and you fought to keep your eyes open. You weren’t sure, just now, if you were sane or not, but if you had to hear that damn alarm one more time, you’d lose whatever sanity you still had. 

That was for damn sure. 

You glanced over at the chair next to you. Steve was sitting there staring off into the distance. “What are you thinking about?” You slurred, watching him with narrowed eyes. For some reason, it didn’t seem right that he was here with you now, but you couldn’t figure out why. 

Steve glanced at you and smiled. “Just thinking about how we met. Do you remember?” 

You laughed weakly, your head rolling again. “Bucky took me to the fair and invited you too.” You chuckled. “Don’t think Bucky thought that’s how the night would go.” You murmured, smiling at the memory of you and Steve touching for the first time. Your palms had lit up with the glow of a soulmate bond and you’d felt that missing piece settle in your soul. 

Steve chuckled too and leaned towards you. His face distorted abruptly and suddenly a red skull as staring back at you. You startled back into your chair and cowered away from the vision before you. “Don’t think he saw himself or your soulmate dying in the war either, now did he?” Red Skull cackled. 

Tears streamed down your face as a flood of memories filled your head. Steve telling you Bucky hadn’t made it. Peggy telling you Steve hadn’t made it. Alena’s broken body from the police reports you’d hacked into. The scars that covered Nat’s body. The one’s you hadn’t been able to prevent. 

It was only the dull ache of something carving into your arm that broke you from you spiraling thoughts. 

You glanced down at your arm and read the Russian words. “Danger, bite your tongue.” 

You glanced at the chair that Red Skull had been in moments before. Steve was sitting there smiling at you sunnily again and you knew, you KNEW it wasn’t really him. The real Steve would be comforting you. Not smiling at you. 

You needed to accept it. Steve was gone. Dead. 

And you didn’t know where you were. 

You didn’t question the strange message on your arm or how it had gotten there. Instead, you bit your tongue hard enough to draw blood. 

The blood dripped down your chin as your head lolled forward again. Around you, the alarm sounded, loud and annoying as your laser made contact with the sensor but you just didn’t have enough energy to pick your head back up. 

Heavy footsteps sounded and something grabbed your chin, forcing your face up to meet blue eyes that looked so familiar and at the same time, looked so strange. A gruff voice loudly and colorfully in Russian as the hand forced your mouth open to look at your bit tongue. 

“What am I gonna do with you, doll?” Bucky’s voice cut through the gloom. 

Your eyes fluttered open and you glanced at his all too familiar face. “Bucky?” 

The eyes stared at you for a long minute. “Yeah, Y/N.” He said, reaching up to brush your messy hair out of your face. “I’m here. I’m gonna get you out of here, okay?” 

You nodded and smiled softly. “You always were the hero type, Buck.” You giggled as you desperately tried to keep your eyes open. 

The man in front of you froze as he took in your exhausted form. You were barely able to form a coherent thought and he knew it was all his fault. But that didn’t mean that what you were saying was any less true. At least in your head. 

You’d called him Bucky. 

You’d called him a hero. 

He glanced at the words engraved in your arm and the blood dribbling down your face, his head whirling. Steve would come for you now. That was a problem. 

But as Bucky’s arms wrapped around your body and you snuggled closer to his chest, trusting him to carry you to safety, he couldn’t help himself as he leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. 

Just as quickly as the moment happened; it passed. 

Bucky glanced up quickly, glancing around the warehouse as he thought through his options. He hoped he’d buried any leads connecting you to this abandoned dump in the middle of the Turkish country, but he also knew better than to hope. 

He needed to get you somewhere before Steve came for you. 

Bucky swept you up and flung you over his shoulder. He jogged towards the door to the warehouse and slipped his backpack over his shoulders. He took one last look around the place the two of you had called home for the past few days and then he turned and with you still on his shoulder, disappeared into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. (Present Day).


	4. Tracking Babushka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a minute! Again!
> 
> Sorry about the crazy breaks in between posts, guys. Wish I had a better explanation than "Sometimes I just prefer writing one-shots" but that's all I've got. Well, that and I've been busy working with thepracticalheartmom on a Stucky/Reader collab that's just been too fun to write. If you like that pairing, I'd recommend you check it out. It's called "Southern Belle".
> 
> Still! Thanks for sticking with me.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

Steve------------------ 

Nat glanced at Steve over her shoulder. He was slumped in a seat, sleeping fitfully. She sighed and turned back to the video call. “How is he?” Tony asked, taking in her worried expression. 

She shrugged. “He’s sleeping.” 

Tony ran an oil stained hand through his hair. “That’s good right? Maybe Babushka is too.” 

Nat bit her lip and Tony nearly had a heart attack. If Natasha was actually physically showing signs of anxiety; things were much worse than he’d realized. 

“Do you have anything?” She asked, changing the subject. 

Tony let out a shaky breath. “I’ve retasked all of FRIDAY’s satellites. STEPAN is helping too. They haven’t found anything yet. I’ve been working on putting a timeline together. I have her on camera’s from the Ranger’s station in the Ganaraska Forest in Canada but nothing after that. I’m looking into it.” 

Nat’s attention swung back to Tony. “Canada?” She demanded. “Near Clarington?” 

“Yeah. You know the place?” Tony asked. 

Nat put the jet into autopilot and pulled up a map on screen she traced a likely route and sent it to Tony. “Steve and I talked to a guy in Budapest. He mentioned something about Clarington in passing. I didn’t think much of it.” She explained. 

Tony pulled up the map on his end and quickly started typing away. “But Babushka could have gone there. It’s big enough there should be surveillance or video SOMETHING. If she was there in the last few weeks, I’ll find it.” 

“Thank you, Tony.” Nat breathed, feeling like a weight was being lifted off her chest. 

Tony shook his head. “She may be your flesh and blood, Romanov. But she raised me more than my own parents did. She’s my Babushka too. Whatever it takes, we’ll find her.” 

Nat and Tony shared a brief moment of understanding. They didn’t always see eye to eye, but they had one common thread that would unite them no matter what. Their love for you. 

“Steve and I have a lead in Turkey. I’ll keep you posted.” 

Tony nodded. "Keep comms on. I managed to get ahold of Barton. He’s chasing a few leads of his own.” 

Natasha nodded and ended the call, turning back to the controls. She was so lost in her thoughts; she almost didn’t notice when Steve came up behind her. “What did Tony want?” He asked groggily, slumping into the copilots' seat. 

Nat hid her worry as she glanced at her grandfather. He looked like hell. “Just checking in. He hasn’t found anything yet, but he might have a lead.” 

Steve nodded and rubbed at his eyes. 

Natasha turned her vision back to the window as she flew through the night. “You should try and get some more sleep, Dedushka. We still have a ways to go.” 

Steve shook his head adamantly. “I can help.” He argued. 

Natasha sighed and flipped the autopilot on once again as she turned to him. “Steve.” She whispered softly, reaching out to put a hand on his leg. “There’s nothing you can do for right now. And you need to sleep. Babushka needs to sleep. I think she’s only lasted this long because you have been.” 

Steve stared at Nat for a long minute, trying to argue against it. He wanted to be awake. He wanted to be planning and thinking and praying . . . doing SOMETHING to make him feel like he wasn’t abandoning you to yourself. But Nat was right. Steve squeezed his eyes shut at the realization. 

“Alright.” He said finally, slumping further in his seat. He was just so damn tired. “Just promise you’ll wake me up when we get there.” 

Nat nodded and straightened. She went to withdraw her hand from Steve’s leg, but his arm reached out and snagged it. “Promise me you won’t do it alone.” Steve said desperately. 

Nat looked into his eyes and saw what he wasn’t saying out loud. ‘Promise you won’t disappear like she did.’ 

Nat squeezed Steve’s hand. “I promise, Dedushka. We’re in this together.” 

Steve let out a shaky breath but nodded. He closed his eyes and within seconds he was fast asleep. 

Natasha turned back to the controls and let out a breath herself. “Where are you, Babuhska?” She murmured. 

You-------------- 

Thousands of miles away, you woke with a start. Panic forced a lump in your throat as you realized you were hanging upside down over someone’s shoulder. You started writhing in an effort to escape. An arm reached up and pulled you off the shoulder, dropping you on your feet. You stumbled as your sleeping appendages were suddenly forced to support your body weight. 

Arms reached out to catch you, but you batted them away in a blind panic. You feel to the ground and scrambled backwards. “Who are you? What’s going on? Where am I?” You felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest as you mind scrambled to remember the last sequence of events it could remember. 

You braced your arms against your knees and squeezed your hands to your head as a splitting headache threatened to crack open your skull. 

Through the pain of it all, you watched with hazy vision as the man who’d been carrying you stepped closer and knelt to the ground. His hair was longer and his eyes were sadder, but you’d recognize him anywhere. 

“Bucky.” You breathed. 

Your entire body relaxed at the sight. You were okay. You were safe. Bucky would never hurt you. 

Bucky watched in fascination as your body relaxed. Your arms fell away from your head and you even leaned towards him, seeking comfort. Something in his own soul melted and he couldn’t help but shuffle awkwardly towards you as you held your arms out. 

You pulled him towards you in a hug, burying your face in his chest. “You saved me.” You mumbled, your body relaxing further as you slipped back asleep. 

Bucky returned the hug with one arm, doing his best to keep his metal one far away from you. But his whole body was frozen. When was the last time someone had held him like this? Definitely not while he was with HYDRA. 

Bucky strained his mind and thought hard about it. He stumbled back, falling to the floor and bringing you with him as he took in heaving lungsful of air. 

He remembered a train in the background and a sense of fear. It wasn’t the same kind of fear that he’d felt while under HYDRA’s thumb. It was different. Fresher. 

You were standing there. You looked younger. Your eyes were sad but didn’t have the same weariness that you cared now. You’d smiled at him. “I’m going to miss you.” You’d cried, wrapping him in a hug almost as tight as the one you’d just given him. 

He squeezed you back. He’d leaned down to bury his face in your hair. You smelled like apples, cinnamon and coffee. It was the smell of the diner you worked at to help make ends meet. He was going to miss it. 

“I’ll be back before you know it.” He’d promised, looking down at you with a gleam in his eye. “You won’t even have time to miss me.” 

You’d laughed, but it had sounded nearly hysteric. 

A small man, smaller than you, had come and wrapped and arm around your waist. “Don’t win the war till I get there.” He’d said. 

Bucky shrugged a shoulder. “If I wait till you get there, I’ll be waiting the rest of my life.” He’d teased. 

The man shook his head and hugged Bucky tightly. “Take care of her for me.” Bucky had said, glancing over at you. 

Steve had nodded seriously. “Of course.” He’d promised. 

The train whistled loudly and Bucky fell back a step. “I gotta go. Keep each other safe.” He’d ordered glancing between you and Steve. 

The two of you had clung tightly to one another and tried to smile as Bucky had turned and gotten on the train. 

He had watched the two of you as the train had pulled away from the station, keeping the two of you in sight until you were nothing more than specks in the distance and then he’d reached into his pocked and pulled out the picture you’d slipped in there, hoping he wouldn’t notice. 

It was a picture of the three of you, smiling. In fancy cursive at the bottom of the picture it merely said; “Come back to us.” 

Bucky had made a promise to himself that he would. 

Bucky snapped out of the memory, still struggling for air. He glanced to the side and saw you. Dark bags lined your eyes. Your hair was a tangled mess. You were still covered in dirt and dried blood but he couldn’t help but remember what you’d looked like standing on a train platform as he’d been taken away. 

You’d been beautiful. You still were. 

Bucky glanced down and saw one of your arms flung across his chest. Your hand was clutching his shirt like your life depended on it. You started as you snugged deeper into his side and breathed out his name. “James.” 

He let out a shaky breath as he reached down and gently untangled your fist from his clothes. Then he pushed to his feet and watched as you huddled in on yourself and started whimpering. 

Before he could even form a conscious thought, he leaned down and wrapped you in his arms. “Shhhh.” He soothed, whispering into your ear. “I’ve got you.” You relaxed almost immediately. 

Bucky stepped further into the night and kept you pinned tightly to his chest. He pressed his lips to your head hesitantly and you smiled quietly in your sleep. 

One question played over and over in his mind. ‘Who the hell were you to him?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. (Present Day).


	5. The Search Continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. Sorry guys. I keep saying I'll do better, and then I don't! I just keep getting distracted by my one-shot stories. Sorry!

Steve------------------- 

Nat landed the jet and glanced at Steve. He finally seemed to be sleeping peacefully, and she hated to interrupt that, but she knew he had a right to be here if this was truly about to be a rescue mission. Natasha leaned over and shook Steve’s shoulder gently. “Dedushka. We’re here.” She whispered. 

Steve was instantly awake. “Let’s go.” 

Steve didn’t give Nat a chance to respond before he was walking towards the rear of the jet. He grabbed his shield and tightened his hold before he glanced at Nat and nodded. 

The two of them slipped from the jet, leaving it in camouflage mode as they slipped out and started sneaking towards the derelict warehouse Nat’s contact had pointed them to. Nat pulled her gun and followed Steve as he took point. Steve cocked his head and listened for anything out of the ordinary. He shook his head when Nat rose a questioning brow. 

Steve adjusted his hold on his shield and moved to go around back but Nat grabbed his arm with one of her hands and gestured with her gun towards a small trail of broken grass that led directly to a door on the far side. 

Steve nodded his understanding and started creeping forward, following the path that someone had to have recently made. 

He approached the door and used his shield to quickly and cleanly knock the door handle right off. Then, he reached the hand in the recently made hole and glance at Nat. She readied herself and nodded. 

Steve flung the door open and Natasha stormed into the building, gun drawn. A single chair was sitting in the middle of patch of white light. The faintest sounds of a dying alarm could be heard. Steve and Nat ignored it all as they swept quickly through the warehouse, looking for any stragglers. When they were both sure it was entirely abandoned, they rendezvoused back in the middle of the room. 

Steve was standing, frozen in place, as he stared at the setup. His jaw ticked as thoughts raced through his head. Natasha put a comforting hand on his arm before she locked her own emotions away and stepped forward. 

A single, decrepit chair sat in the middle of the brightly lit area. Blood spatter could be seen on one of the arm rests as well as on the floor to the left. A laser was pointing directly where the head of anyone sitting in the chair would have been. Nat raised her hand and interrupted the beam and the weak strains of the alarm cut off. 

“I think we know how he was keeping her awake.” She said softly. 

Steve’s hands clenched by his side. “We missed her.” He said shortly. 

“We don’t know it was her.” Nat offered as she reached down to touch one of the drops of blood lightly. She furrowed her brow as she examined the viscosity. 

Steve sighed. “We do.” He said softly, gesturing at the left hand side of the chair where the concentration of blood was. It matched Steve’s left arm that had since healed after Natasha had carved a bloody message into it earlier. 

Natasha pulled a swab out of her utility belt and mopped some of the blood up before she put the swab safely back in her belt. “We’ll save her, Steve.” She said. 

Steve eyed her with a mixture of frustration and desperation that broke her heart. 

Nat reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it in her own. “We will. If he wanted her dead, he would have killed her already. He must have seen the message and taken her somewhere else.” 

“Where?” The single word was broken and desperate on Steve’s lips and Natasha frowned. 

“I don’t know.” She admitted. “But we’re going to find out.” 

Steve looked at the fierce resolve on her face and nodded desperately. They would find out. 

Nat slunk back to the jet while Steve took another look around the warehouse, hoping for any more clues. She pulled Tony up on screen. 

“Anything?” He asked, his wild eyes meeting hers. 

Nat shrugged a shoulder. “Nothing definitive.” She hedged. 

“But?” 

Nat sighed and reached down to her belt, pulling out the swab with blood on it. Tony’s eyes narrowed as he looked at it. “Is that blood?” He asked, his expression darkening. 

Nat nodded. “I need you to run it.” 

“FRIDAY.” Tony ordered. A panel flipped out and Natasha deposited the swab inside. 

“How much was there?” Tony asked, more subdued as they waited for FRIDAY to finish processing the sample. 

“Not enough.” Natasha said, answering the unspoken question. ‘Not enough to have killed her.’ 

Tony nodded his head rapidly and his eyes drifted back to the scan’s he was running. The two sat in silence, waiting for the ding of their results. Natasha glanced back as she heard Steve coming back aboard. “Anything?” She asked. 

He shook his head. “It’s like they just disappeared.” He said. 

Natasha nodded, not having expected anything else and turned back to the screen. Steve came up and sat beside her. “What are we waiting for?” He asked quietly, staring at the screen where Tony was working. 

“We’re analyzing the blood. Seeing if it matches.” Natasha murmured. 

Steve clenched his jaw and nodded. 

The three waited in almost total silence before FRIDAY finally announced the results. 

“I’m sorry.” The AI said, pulling the results up on screen. “It’s a 100% match.” 

Your Avengers level file appeared on screen and Steve’s head dropped. He glared at his hands as he clenched them in his lap. 

“Tell me you’ve got something, Tony.” Natasha said, pushing her anxiety further into the back of her mind. 

Tony sighed, his figure hunching as he braced himself against one of the tables in his lab. “Nothing helpful.” He murmured. He swiped a hand to the side and another screen appeared in front of Nat and Steve. Surveillance footage played and showed a man sneaking out of an apartment building and into a back alley. An unconscious woman was draped over his arms. For half a second, a passing car illuminated her face and facial recognition confirmed that it was you. Just as suddenly as the headlights flashed, they were gone and Tony hadn’t been able to pick you up again on any security footage. 

“Where was this taken?” Nat asked, tracing your face on the screen. 

“Clarington, Canada. You were right.” Tony said. 

“And we’ve got nothing else to go off of?” Steve asked. 

Tony shook his head. “That was taken a few days after Thor dropped her off. I’ve searched travel manifestos, train stations, car rentals, bus terminals, airports; you name it, I’ve had FRIDAY and STEPAN scouring it. It’s like they just disappeared.” 

“Somehow they got to Turkey.” Natasha murmured. 

Tony nodded. “My guess is they stowed away somehow. I have Barton on his way to the apartment complex they were seen leaving. He knows Babushka. If she knew someone was on to her, she would have left us a clue.” 

“What can we do?” Steve asked. 

Tony shook his head. “For now? Nothing. The blood you found was fresh, right?” 

“Fresh enough.” Nat agreed. 

“He can’t have gotten far then. Ping me your coordinates and I’ll start searching for facial recognition.” 

“Wait . . . just . . . Tony . . .” Steve started. He didn’t know what he was begging for here but Tony seemed to understand. 

“She’s been family longer than you ever have been, Capscicle. We’re going to find her. That’s a promise.” Tony said firmly. 

Steve nodded and Tony ended the call. 

Natasha leaned back in her chair and stared out over the dark landscape. For a long minute, she let herself sink back into memories that you’d done your best to help her erase and she thought long and hard about what she would have been expected to do in a situation like this. Delusional and perhaps combative hostage with needed information. Torture was out of the question in the traditional sense of the word. The enemy was closing in fast and she needed to make a quick escape where no one would find her without raising suspicions or giving the hostage any opportunity to escape or make their situation known to sympathetic parties. 

“A safe place.” She muttered under her breath. She swung around to the computer and started searching. 

“You have something?” Steve asked, glancing up at her with hope in his eyes. 

“Maybe. I don’t know.” 

Natasha added the criteria of her search and started narrowing down potential locations. She wouldn’t want to stay in the country. Too easy to lock down borders. She also wouldn’t want to travel too far. More opportunities to be seen and caught. 

A few of the locations on screen disappeared. 

Anything active would be out of the question too. As well as anything that had been recently active. Assuming she was still working under orders from handlers, she wouldn’t want to risk her victory being poached by someone else. That would mean punishment for herself. Assuming she had broken free of her handlers . . . well, better to avoid anyone could report her or recapture her. 

A few more locations disappeared. 

Realistically the best place to hunker down would be something HYDRA’s. Something old and abandoned. Something that HYDRA knew SHIELD was aware of giving them incentive to stay away but something SHIELD, or the fallen remains of it, would have no interest in now. 

Natasha swallowed hard as a single possibility was left on screen. 

Steve glanced at the coordinates and then back at her again. “You know the place?” He asked softly. 

Nat nodded slowly. “Yeah.” Her voice broke. “It’s the HYDRA facility Peggy rescued Babushka from thirty years ago.” 

Steve hadn’t thought he could feel a greater sense of pain and terror than he had been feeling. He’d been wrong. 

“Let’s go.” Natasha said, flipping controls abruptly. Steve scrambled into his seat as Natasha took off into the night sky. All he could do was pray that you were okay and grapple with the burning question that was beginning to seem more and more important the more they learned about what happened to you.

If it came down to it, who would he save? You? Or Bucky?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. (Present Day).


	6. Saving Grace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but I think you'll be happy with it all the same.
> 
> Thanks, thepracticalheartmom for being my constant angst advisor!

The Winter Soldier sat in the shadows, his back pressed against the cold wall as he watched you sleep. He’d found a ratty mattress in one of the abandoned cells and he’d pulled it in here. The thing had been stained with time and who knew what else. He had thought about just lying you on it, but something had made him pause and he’d shucked his jacket off before he’d gently slipped it under your head. 

As he stared at you, flashes of memories flitted across his eyes. Images of you lying on a couch with a hazy smile on your face. Another image of you leaning close, your eyes closed. Then there was the one most confusing of all. The image of you with a man who looked so much like the man he’d saved the day that SHIELD fell. The man had looked smaller, much smaller and sicker but he’d smiled as you had reached your hand out. A flash of light burst out of your palms and he . . . James, Bucky, whoever . . . he’d felt pain. 

He leaned his head against the wall and took a deep breath, trying desperately to understand the flashes in his head. 

His gaze was drawn to you, though, when your breathing abruptly changed. 

You jolted awake but kept your eyes pressed together as you took in a startled breath. Your mind was racing with altogether too many thoughts and you were struggling to put them in order. You fell into an age-old habit as you fought to control yourself. “Y/N Rogers. Soulmate, Steve Rogers. Agent Zero. Y/N Rogers. Soulmate, Steve Rogers. Agent Zero.” You repeated to yourself. You felt tears leaking down your face at how easily the memories returned to you. You hadn’t been wiped. You hadn’t been wiped. 

Your eyes opened and you glanced at the ceiling of a room you knew too well. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no.” You murmured. You scrambled off the mattress you’d been dumped on and into the corner of the room. You’d dreamed you’d escaped. You’d been free. You’d had Steve back. Alena’s baby had survived. Your little Nattie was safe. 

It had all been a dream? 

Your heart shattered. What more could these people take from you? Why wouldn’t they just let you die in peace?! 

“Hey.” A voice called. 

You pushed to your feet abruptly, cowering into the wall even as you instinctively moved into a fighting stance. The marks on your back seemed to burn as a familiar figure stepped out of the shadows. 

“You’re okay.” He murmured in English instead of Russian like you were expecting. “No one is going to hurt you.” 

You shook your head and responded in Russian. You were desperate to keep your charade up. They couldn’t know you were American. Alena would be in danger. “That is what they all say.” 

The man shook his head. “It’s just the two of us. There’s no one else here. You’re safe.” 

Your eyes flicked to the door and shook your head again softly, not believing it for one second. It was always this way. The Winter Soldier would enter, try to buy your trust with a face that no longer belonged to him and then torture you when it didn’t work. 

The Winter Soldier stepped closer and you took in his form with a critical eye. Different images of him flashed through your head. His hair was short, then long, then messy, then covered in blood. His eyes were kind, sad, empty, angry. There were too many images and no context to link them together. You pressed your hands against your temples and screamed. 

The Winter Soldier rushed to your side and collapsed to his knees beside you. He hesitated before he reached out a hand and started stroking your back. “You’re okay.” He murmured. “It’s 2015. It’s not 1985.” 

You sucked in a breath and turned your tear stained eyes to his face. The sheer humanity that reflected back in his eyes rocked your world and you stretched out a shaking hand to stroke his cheek. “Bucky?” You questioned. 

He flinched at the contact of your hand but nodded anyway. 

“But . . . but you died.” You cried, still speaking Russian. 

He shook his head and pulled away from your touch as though unused to the feeling. “No, doll. I . . . I didn’t.” 

You didn’t notice the laser focus Bucky was viewing you with as you unintentionally shared details of the life he could almost remember. Your hands rose up to clamp at your temples again, unable to distinguish the fine line between dream and reality. “Steve . . . Steve couldn’t save you. He said you fell off a train. He said we’d lost you.” Your breaths were coming in panicked gasps and you started clawing at your skin. Blood dripped down your fingers as you scratched hard enough to draw it. 

Bucky reached up to pull your hands away but a pained gasp from somewhere outside the room froze him in his tracks. 

Your eyes shot to him; your fingers frozen at your temples. “Stevie?” You gasped out. 

The name brought a slew of memories that bombarded Bucky. A scrawny man getting beat up in a back alley. The same man getting beat up in a diner. That same damned image of you and Steve, hands touching for the first time, light erupting from them. Bucky shook his head to clear it and he reached for you, ready to sweep you into his arms and run away. Instinct screamed at him not to let you go but you batted his hands aside. 

Your frantic eyes met him, and he opened his mouth to remind you that you were safe with him. That he wouldn’t hurt you. 

You pushed at his chest. “Go!” You hissed, shoving at him weakly. “Bucky, you have to go! Don’t let them take you! Don’t let them hurt you!” 

Bucky couldn’t tell if you were stuck in another memory of the past or if you were truly frantic for him now. You shoved at him again. “Please! Please, go!” You ordered. 

A war raged within him that he seemed incapable of winning. Everything in him screamed to keep you close and he didn’t think it was just because of the answers he wanted anymore. A deeper sensation begged him to keep you close, to protect you. But he’d fought so hard to escape one warden. He couldn’t go back to another. 

His indecision kept him frozen in place until you pushed past him and pressed your hand against the side of his face. “Please.” You cried brokenly. “Please be free.” You leaned close and pressed your lips. “For luck.” You whispered. 

Bucky was on his feet and out the door a second later, his body reacting instinctively even as his brain lurched to a stop. He was halfway down the opposite corridor when his mind finally caught up with his body and he skid to a stop. He pressed a finger to his lips as another memory flooded his mind. 

You were standing in front of him dressed in a pretty blue dress. Your hair had been done up for the occasion and you were wearing that shade of lipstick that he’d loved on you. He’d been holding something . . . a letter. He’d been nervous. You’d taken one of his hands in yours and you’d leaned up on your tiptoes and pressed kiss to his lips. “For luck.” You whispered. “Not that you need it.” You’d smiled and he’d felt like he could take on the entire world. 

Bucky’s breathing was coming in ragged gasps as he threw himself against a wall and screwed his eyes shut. 

He shook his head to clear it and turned on his heel to go back for you when voices echoed down the hall. 

“Sweetheart!” 

“Babushka.” 

“Shhhh. Shhhh. You’re okay now. You’re safe.” 

Bucky’s metal fist clenched by his side as he listened to you reunite with your loved ones. He threw the back of his head against the wall and felt tears threaten to spill down his face. A sense of loss so profound it nearly drove him to his knees swept through him and he clawed at the fractured memories he did have, desperate to understand the reason why. 

You’d clearly meant something to him. And he’d meant something to you if your desperate pleas for him to save himself were anything to go by. 

Bucky fought the urge to go back for you, sure he could take on your lover and the red-haired assassin he’d helped trained. Only concern for you held him back. 

He listened to them fuss over you and carry you away and then, just as he was about to slink away and disappear into the shadows like he was best at, he heard a low female voice. 

“I know you’re there, Soldat.” 

Bucky froze. 

“Do NOT come after her again. This is your only warning.” 

He heard the sound of footsteps walking away and he slunk to the floor in the abandoned HYDRA safehouse with nothing but incomplete memories and evidence of his past sins to keep him company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. (Present Day).


	7. What's the Prognosis?

Steve------------- 

Steve was a ball of nerves as Natasha landed the quinjet in the middle of an empty field in the Russian wilderness. His pulse beat loudly in his ears as he took in the abandoned HYDRA base. You’d been held here? For six months? 

A feeling of failure swept through him and his hand tightened on his shield as the pain rolled through him. 

He wouldn’t fail you this time. 

Natasha gestured with her hands as the two of them snuck off the jet. Natasha had scanned the base for life signs and had found two heat signatures inside. Natasha and Steve worked quickly but methodically as they swept through the rooms, one by one, quickly trailing towards the one the heat signatures had been identified in. 

Suddenly, Steve let out a pained hiss and felt something hot and sticky start pouring down the sides of his face. Natasha swung her flashlight to him and cursed under her breath. 

“We gotta move faster.” She murmured. 

Steve’s heart pounded and raced forward, completely abandoning any effort to keep his steps silent. Let the bastard hear him coming. 

Natasha ran beside him, gun drawn as she focused on the readout on her arm, guiding the two of them through the maze of hallways and deep into the bunker. 

Natasha swung an abrupt left and skid to a stop in the doorway of a room. Steve raced in behind her. 

You were cowering in the corner of the room. Your eyes were glassy as tears poured down your cheeks leaving streaks in the dirt, blood and grime coating your face. Your fingers were pressed against the side of your face as you shook your head back and forth. 

“Sweetheart!” Steve cried, racing towards you. 

“Babushka.” Nat echoed, horrified. 

You backed away as far as possible as Steve raced towards you. You held out a bloodied hand as if to stop him. “Not real. You’re not real.” You mumbled to yourself. “You died. You’re dead. You’re not real!” 

Steve’s heart broke. He ripped off his gloves and tucked them in his belt before he handed Natasha his shield. “Shhhh. Shhhh. You’re okay now. You’re safe.” He mumbled, stretching out a hand to take yours. You shuddered as your skin made contact with his and you choked on another sob. 

“I’m real, sweetheart. Oh, I promise you I’m real. I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner. I’m so sorry.” Steve stretched a shaking hand up to cup your face and that seemed to be all the reassurance you needed. You flung yourself into his arms and buried your face in his neck. Deep sobs wracked your worn body as Steve hugged you tightly to him. He stroked your dirty hair. “I love you. I love you. I’m so sorry. I love you.” He mumbled, rocking you back and forth. 

“Dedushka.” Natasha interjected quietly. Steve glanced up at her tense form. “We need to go.” She tilted her head to the side and Steve remembered there had been two heat signatures when they’d first arrived. 

He pressed a desperate kiss to your temple as he swept you up in his arms. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.” 

He walked you out of the room. 

Steve didn’t notice as Nat fell behind. He didn’t notice as she cocked her head, listening for something. He didn’t notice as her low voice echoed out behind them. 

“I know you’re there, Soldat. Do NOT come after her again. This is your only warning.” 

Nat stood proud and defiant as she stared into the darkness of the bunker. A trickle of fear brushed across her mind as she remembered her time in the red room and specifically her time under The Winter Soldier’s thumb, but she brushed it aside, brutally attacking it. You were her home now and she’d be damned if she let anything happen to you. 

Nat paused long enough to make sure her message was delivered and then she turned and walked back to the jet and to you and Steve, ready to leave the forsaken place behind. 

Steve laid you on the gurney in the middle of the quinjet and brushed your hair out of your face. “Are you hurt?” 

Your eyes were squeezed shut and you were mumbling things in Russian under your breath. 

“Sweetheart? Are you hurt?” Steve asked louder. 

“Please . . . please, no.” You cried out. 

Steve glanced up just as Natasha boarded the jet. His desperate eyes met hers as she set his shield aside and rushed to you. 

“Get the bird in the air, Dedushka. I’ll take care of her.” 

Steve hesitated, desperate to stay by your side. 

Natasha shook her head. “Go.” She ordered more firmly. 

Steve sent one last look in your direction before he headed to the cockpit and started the liftoff sequence. He hesitated a moment before he made the call to Tony. 

“Did you find her?” Tony’s desperate voice filled the airway only seconds after Steve dialed. 

Steve nodded grimly. 

Tony let out a long breath and sunk into a chair as he ran his hands down his face. 

“How is she?” He asked after a long minute. 

Steve shook his head and glanced back at you and Natasha as the spy took care of you. “I don’t know. Not good. Please tell me Dr. Cho is there.” 

Tony nodded. “I flew her in the second we realized Babushka was missing. I’ll have her on standby. How far out are you?” 

Steve checked the instruments. “A couple of hours.” 

Tony nodded. “You take care of Babushka. I’ll take care of everything on this end.” He said firmly. 

Steve nodded. “Thank you, Tony.” He said. 

Tony nodded and smiled softly. “Thanks for finding her, Gramps.” 

Steve risked a smile as Tony hung up. Steve took one last backwards glance at you before he turned back to the controls. He let out a deep breath and started plotting your way back home. 

“You’re safe now, Babushka. You’re safe. Okay? I know you’re hurting. I know. I’m going to make the pain go away, but you need to sleep now. Can you do that for me?” Nat murmured soothingly in Russian. 

You shook your head, your eyes staring up at the ceiling of the jet unseeingly. “I can’t. I can’t. Need to stay awake. Need to . . . need to . . .” 

Nat stroked your hair gently. “You can go to sleep now, you can.” She pulled a bag of saline out of the medical supplies and quickly set up an IV drip. You didn’t even wince as she stabbed the needle into your vein. Natasha took the vial of Precedex out of the kit and drew up a dose before she injected it into the bag. “You need to get some sleep, Babushka.” 

You shook your head adamantly. Nat reached down to wipe the tears away from your face. “Let go, Babushka. It’s okay. I’ve got it from here.” 

Your eyes started drooping as the drugs started working. “You . . . you’ve got it.” You murmured. 

Natasha continued stroking your face until your breathing had evened out. Then she pulled her hand away and started pulling your dirty suit off of you. She sucked in a deep breath at the bloodied bandage that had been carefully wrapped around the words she herself had been responsible for carving into your flesh. 

She pulled the suit off of you, leaving you in your underclothes and then she reached into the medical supplies and pulled out the spare gamma gun that all the quinjets had. She pulled up a chair before she aimed it at your temple and pulled the trigger. You winced in your sleep before you settled back down. 

Steve walked up then, rubbing his own temple, a sure sign he was feeling the headache he always got when you were being healed and he took in your battered appearance. “How bad is it?” He asked softly, pulling up a chair on the opposite side of Nat. He took one of your hands in his. 

Nat kept the gun firing as she glanced over your form. “She’s lost weight. Is definitely dehydrated. She has a cut on her forehead. I’d say a few weeks old. Matches one you got during Sokovia.” 

Steve grimaced as he started recalling his other injuries from the battle. “What else?” He asked. 

“Claw marks on her head. Those were . . . those were self-inflicted.” Nat’s voice wavered and Steve reached his free hand out across your body as an offering. Nat stared at it for a long time before she slipped her hand into his. Steve squeezed it. “And the message I carved into her.” Nat’s voice was quiet and broken. 

Steve shook his head. “You saved her, Vnuchka.” He murmured. Nat shook her head, but Steve squeezed her hand again. “You did.” Steve insisted. “If you hadn’t gotten her the message, we never would have known that she was missing. We . . . we might not have . . .” 

It was Nat’s turn to squeeze Steve’s hand. 

The two kept their hands interlocked while they watched the gamma gun work it’s magic on your battered body. It was a long flight home. 

The quinjet touched down in the hangar and the doors opened. True to his word, Tony had Helen’s entire team on standby. The second the doors opened, they were rushing on board. They transferred you to a gurney and wheeled you out. Tony’s grim face stood sentinel as he watched you be carted off. Steve and Natasha came to stand beside him as you disappeared. 

“Helen’s the best.” Tony said, trying to convince all three of them. 

Nat nodded. “Would expect nothing less.” 

Tony grimaced and looked at the two of them. “You guys look like hell yourselves. Get yourselves cleaned up.” 

Steve shook his head. “I want . . . I want to be there when she wakes up.” 

Tony reached out and put a comforting hand on the other man’s shoulder. “She’s going to be out for awhile, Steve. You have time.” 

“It’s probably best if she doesn’t wake up to this, Dedushka.” Nat added quietly, gesturing at Steve’s bloodied and grimy suit. 

Steve glanced down, surprised. 

“Right.” He said. He turned and left the hangar without another word. 

“How’s he doing?” Tony asked, watching him go. 

Natasha sighed. “How would you be doing?” 

Tony winced and rubbed the back of his neck. “You should get cleaned up too.” He said eventually. “I’ll go sit with her until you’re done.” 

Natasha nodded and slunk out of the hangar. Grateful to get away from everything for a minute. As she headed towards her rooms, Clint found her. 

He hugged her gently. “Hey, Nat. I came as soon as I could.” 

Nat nodded against his cheek. “Heard you were out there looking too.” 

Clint pulled away and slapped a mock-hurt expression on his face. “And risk having to tell the kids that Babushka wasn’t coming back? I don’t think so.” 

Natasha smiled softly. “How are they?” 

Clint crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. “They’re good. Nathaniel is smiling more. I think we might need to change his name. You’re too stoic to be his namesake.” 

Natasha shoulder checked him. 

Clint’s smile turned serious. “How are you, though?” 

Natasha glanced down the hall where you’d been taken. “I don’t know.” She said honestly. 

Clint nodded. “Go take care of yourself. I’ll make sure Tony doesn’t try to experiment on her.” 

Natasha smiled once again before she drifted towards her rooms. 

Clint squared his shoulders and headed towards medical to see how you were doing. 

Steve felt better after his shower but was still anxious to find his place by your side again. His hair was still dripping as he slunk into the viewing room in medical. “How is she?” He asked, slipping into a seat next to Tony. 

Clint was standing against a far wall, his hawk-eyes glued to the doctors as they bustled around you. 

Tony shook his head. “She was dehydrated and malnourished. The gamma gun couldn’t really help with that. The cradle couldn’t either. They put her on fluids to help. The gamma gun is working on her superficial wounds, but slower than normal. They’re not sure what that means.” 

“You have a theory?” Steve asked, keeping his eyes glued to your form. 

Tony bit his lip and hemmed and hawed before he finally told Steve the truth. “It could be that she’s just dehydrated and malnourished. Her body doesn’t have the necessary things to help her heal.” 

“Or?” 

“Or . . . they were in a defunct HYDRA base. He could have injected her with something that’s interfering with her ability to heal.” 

“We don’t know that.” Steve reminded him quickly. 

Tony sighed. “No, we don’t. It’s just a theory.” 

Steve was silent but they could all hear his unspoken, ‘Yeah, a bad theory’. 

Helen stood in the corner of your room, reviewing something on her tablet. When she finished, she glanced up at the team. Everyone straightened up as she walked out of your room and into theirs. 

“What’s the prognosis, doc?” Tony asked nervously. 

Helen sighed and glanced at your sleeping body. “She had evidence of several internal injuries, mostly healed as well as the external injuries you seemed to be aware of.” She glanced at Steve pointedly. He nodded. “Dehydration, malnutrition, several growing infections, a fever, hallucinations and paranoia based on the Captain’s report and highly elevated stress levels. The best thing for her right now is sleep.” 

“How long?” 

Helen sighed again. “We’ll keep her under for a day and then start weening her off the medications. Once she’s off them it’s up to her when she wakes up again. I can’t accurately estimate that, but I would subjectively say anywhere between a few days and a week. She’s been through a lot.” 

Steve swallowed hard. “But she’ll be okay?” He asked softly. 

“Physically? Yes. She’s healing as well as can be expected. Emotionally? Mentally?” Helen shook her head. “There’s no way to know for certain until she wakes.” 

Tony sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Have you already gotten scans and drawn a blood sample?” He asked. 

Helen nodded. “I have calls out to friends who are experts in neuroscience and hematology. As soon as I know anything, I’ll let you know.” 

“Thanks Helen.” 

“Thanks Doc.” 

“Thanks.” 

Dr. Cho nodded and slipped back into your room while the rest of the team sat in the viewing room, lost in their own thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Angst! I know, I know! But it's all necessary! I swear!
> 
> Anyway, I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. (Present Day).


	8. Coming Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I'm just IN THE ZONE right now with this fic. Hope you guys don't mind the spammed updates!

Steve ----------------- 

It had been three days. Steve had only left your side to shower and sleep and only then when someone made him. Natasha was almost just as bad although she could sometimes be found in the gym, destroying punching bags in a show of rarely demonstrated super-strength. The kind she’d inherited from her grandfather. Everyone knew she was blaming herself for not realizing you were in trouble sooner. 

Steve wasn’t much better. 

Tony, Clint and Sam all tried to remind them that it wasn’t their faults, but they couldn’t bring themselves to forget about it. Until you woke up and told them otherwise, it was a guilt they were going to carry with them. 

On the fourth day, Wanda paid a visit. 

Steve was sitting where he could usually be found, in a chair next to your bedside. He was flipping through a report, though he couldn’t concentrate on it enough to understand what he was reading. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Wanda said softly, hesitating in the doorway. 

Steve’s eyes shot up and he looked at her. “No. No, Wanda. It’s okay. You’re not interrupting anything.” 

Wanda slipped further into the room although she danced lightly on her toes. She almost expected Steve to throw her out. The last time Wanda had seen you, she hadn’t exactly introduced herself with the kindest of intentions. Wanda could still remember the horrible things she’d pulled to the surface of your mind. It was those memories that drove her to seek you out now in the first place. 

Steve smiled softly at the nervous girl. “I don’t think you’ve officially met. This is my wife, Y/N.” He said, reaching out to squeeze your hand. 

Wanda smiled softly as the soulmate connection only she could see blazed with light between the two of you at the simple action. “You love her very much.” She said softly. 

Steve smiled and stroked your face. “She’s my world.” He whispered. 

Wanda took another few steps closer. “I . . .” She took a deep breath. “I thought I would come and offer to . . .” She waved a hand through the air, red mist trailing in its wake, when her words failed her. 

Steve glanced at her with a blank expression for a long minute. Wanda fidgeted under the weight of his stare. She was well aware of the amount of trust she was asking for and she waited patiently for Steve to declare her sentence. 

Steve let out a long breath. His voice broke. “You . . . you think you can help her?” He asked. “The things she saw . . . that she was having to relive . . .” 

Wanda nodded quickly. “I won’t take the memories away unless she asks me to. But . . . but I can soothe her mind. Maybe draw her to the surface?” 

Steve ran the back of his hand over his eyes. “Yes. Please. I trust you.” 

Wanda nodded to herself and approached your bed with determination. She reached her hands out and touched your temples, letting her magic penetrate the haze of your mind and she let herself inside. 

You hummed to yourself as you kneaded the dough for the bread you were making. As you finished, you shaped it on the pan and threw it into the oven as a woman who looked an awful lot like an older version of you slid into view. “Sweetie, did you finish the bread for dinner?” She asked. 

You smiled. “Yes, mama. Just put it in.” 

“Good girl. Now hurry up and get ready. He’ll be here soon.” 

You blushed as you excused yourself and hurried to your room. You shucked your apron and turned to your closet to pull out your Sunday dress. You quickly changed before you turned to the mirror in the corner. You played with your hair, wrapping a few strands of your hair around your fingers to add curl before you swept the side up and pinned it back. You pinched your cheeks to add a bit of color before you reached for your lipstick and added the brilliant red to your lips. Finally, you topped off your look with the small pearl necklace your grandmother had gifted you on your sixteenth birthday. It wasn’t anything fancy, but you felt like you looked the part. You smiled to yourself in the mirror. 

You didn’t seem to notice as Wanda looked on in curiosity. 

The door opened and male voices could be heard in the hallway. You spun around, a hand flying to your chest and you let out a shaky laugh. The blush that lit up your cheeks then was all your own as you took a deep breath and opened your door. 

Wanda smiled softly to herself as she watched you act the part of a young woman in love. 

You stepped into the hallway and made your way through the small apartment towards the kitchen. Wanda trailed after you, trying to catch a glimpse of the Steve of the past. She’d heard stories and jokes of the way Steve had been before the serum and she was anxious to see for herself what they’d all meant. 

You moved towards the door where a flurry of activity was happening. “Can I take your coat?” You asked. 

A man turned around and Wanda gasped. It wasn’t Steve. 

“Sure, doll.” He said softly. He took off his coat and you took it in your arms. You smiled up at him and he glanced around the room quickly, making sure no one was looking before he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to your lips. 

“James!” You gasped in shock, glancing back to make sure your parents weren’t looking. You glanced back at James with a loving look of chastisement on your face. 

James shrugged. “Couldn’t see my best girl and not give her a peck, now could I? What kind of boyfriend would I be?” His smile looked entirely unrepentant. 

You chuckled lightly and reached up to rub your lipstick off his lips. “The kind that doesn’t get thrown out by my daddy when he catches you locking lips with his little girl.” You teased. 

James shrugged a shoulder. “Your parents love me, doll. I ain’t too worried about it.” 

He wrapped an arm around your waist as you hung up his coat and led you to the dinner table. 

Just before you reached it. Wanda called your name. “Y/N?” 

Your eyes met hers abruptly and you paled. 

“Excuse me for a minute.” You murmured, stepping away from James’ arms and the dinner table and walking down the hall. Wanda followed after you. 

You walked back into your bedroom and shut the door. “Wanda? Wanda Maximoff?” You asked. 

Wanda nodded softly. 

“What . . . what are you doing here?” 

Wanda swallowed hard. You didn’t sound angry or upset like she had expected you to sound. Instead you just sounded confused. “I’m not here to hurt you.” She said quickly. 

You nodded slowly. “I didn’t think you were, sweetheart.” You said softly, reaching a hand out to squeeze her arm gently. The action was so unintentionally motherly that tears sprang to Wanda’s eyes. 

“Oh, sweetheart.” You murmured, reaching out to take the girl in your arms. You hugged her firmly as you ran your hands up and down her back. You let her cry as long as she needed until you heard her sobs start to ease. 

“Are you here to take me back?” You asked softly. 

Wanda pulled away and wiped at her eyes as she looked at you. “Take you back? Then you know none of this is real?” She gestured around the two of you. 

You smiled sadly. “No. No it very much was real.” You said softly. “This was the night that James . . . Bucky . . . he was going to propose to me. It was the night I met Steve, and everything changed.” 

Wanda shook her head slowly. “Then . . . then how did you know?” 

You chuckled lightly. “It may have taken me awhile to get my head screwed on straight, but I remember where I’m supposed to be.” You sighed and glanced around the room. “I was a naïve and innocent young woman in the forties.” You said softly. “I didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘pain’. It’s easy to want to stay here forever but it’s not where I belong.” You put your hand on her face. “There are people who need me back in our time.” You said softly, shrugging. “So that’s where I’ll go.” 

Wanda gripped your wrist tightly in her hand nodded her head. “Let’s go.” She said softly. 

A red mist surrounded you and you glanced sadly at the door that led back to James and the happiness you’d once shared with him and then you closed your eyes and let Wanda draw you back to where you needed to be. 

The sounds of machines beeping stirred at your mind. A pressure at your temples withdrew and another pressure squeezed your hand. 

“How is she?” Steve’s voice asked. He sounded almost scared to ask the question. 

Wanda wiped at her eyes. “She’s okay.” She said softly. “Just give her a minute.” 

Steve’s eyes whipped to your face. “Doll?” He asked softly. “Sweetheart?” He reached out to trail his thumb down the side of your face. 

You chuckled softly. “Stop that, it tickles.” You murmured. 

Tears filled Steve’s eyes and he glanced up at Wanda. “Thank you.” He said, reaching out to take one of her hands in his. “I owe you one.” 

Wanda shook her head and smiled down at you as you slowly opened your eyes and glanced around. It was all her, Captain.” She said softly. 

Steve glanced down at you and couldn’t stop himself as he leaned forward and captured your lips with his. “I missed you so much.” He cried. 

You kissed him back and let your new sense of home fill you until everything clicked back into place. “I missed you too.” You said softly. Steve pressed his lips to yours again and Wanda snuck out of the room leaving the two of you to catch up in private. 

Steve pulled back and leaned his forehead against yours. “How are you feelin’, doll?” He asked softly. You closed your eyes lazily. 

“Tired.” You joked. 

Steve chuckled sadly. “I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” You opened your eyes and shook your head. 

“No, baby. No, it wasn’t your fault.” Steve didn’t look convinced and you pushed yourself up in bed. “Is that what you’ve been thinkin’ this whole time?” You asked. 

Steve nodded and sunk back in his chair. 

You shook your head adamantly. “It wasn’t your fault. I got sloppy. That’s on me.” 

“Buc . . . The Winter Soldier had you for three weeks doll. Three WEEKS. And we didn’t do anythin’ to stop him.” 

Your jaw ticked and you folded your arms across your chest. “Steven Grant Rogers. That man’s name is Bucky Barnes and you know it.” 

Steve winced at the firmness in your tone and your shoulders slumped. “Where’s my granddaughter?” You asked softly, reaching for one of his hands and squeezing it. 

“I don’t know.” He said softly. “She’s been struggling.” 

You sighed. “FRIDAY? Where’s Natalia?” 

“She’s in the gym, Babushka.” 

“Can you send her up, please?” 

“Right away.” 

You held Steve’s hand but waited in silence for Nat to show up. 

It didn’t take long. 

Nat raced into the room and threw her arms around your neck. “You’re awake. You’re okay.” She sobbed in Russian against your skin. You and Steve exchanged a glance and he let go of your hand so you could take Nat in your arms and squeeze her to your chest. 

“You saved me, pauk.” You murmured in Russian. “You saved me and don’t you dare think otherwise. I’m proud of you.” 

Natasha’s body shuddered in your arms and the two of you remained locked in that embrace for a long time before you turned your attention back to Steve. “You both saved me.” You said firmly. “Don’t you dare, either of you, think otherwise. Not even for a second. You hear me?” 

Steve and Natasha nodded as you glared at them in turn and for the first time in four days, genuine smiles lit their faces. 

You smiled softly. “Good. Now someone go get Dr. Cho, please. I don’t want to sit in this hospital bed another minute longer than I have to.” 

Natasha chuckled and wiped at her eyes as she pushed to her feet to follow out on your request. 

As soon as she was gone, Steve captured your hand again. “You’re safe now.” He said softly. “I won’t let him hurt you again.” 

You took a deep breath and wiped at your own tear-filled eyes before you turned to your soulmate and shook your head. “That’s the thing, Stevie. We need to get him back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1917 - Bucky Barnes is born.  
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - Bucky almost proposes. You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Bucky enlists. Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Bucky falls off the train. Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured by them and The Winter Soldier.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. Bucky starts remembering. (Present Day).


	9. The Next Step

Dr. Cho was quick as she cleared you for release. She had clearly picked up on the tension that had built between you and your soulmate and was anxious to get the hell out of dodge. You couldn’t say you blamed her. Steve had withdrawn into himself, his jaw ticking as he crossed his arms over his chest and bounced his knee. You knew that he was struggling with your last statement and that he’d stew over it until the inevitable blow-up when you were both alone. 

You steeled yourself against the unavoidable. 

Natasha glanced between you and Steve; her eyes narrowed. You knew she saw more than you wanted her too and you sighed knowing that her reaction was inevitable too. 

“You’re free to go. Though you should probably get more rest.” Dr. Cho said quietly as she glanced over her tablet. “I put word out to a few colleagues. It doesn’t seem as though anything was done to you outside of the sleep deprivation and more obvious physical wounds. All the same, if you feel strange in any way, please get ahold of me immediately.” She said. 

You nodded your thanks as you pushed out of bed. 

Steve was on his feet in the next second, sweeping you up into his arms. You could feel the tension in the way he carried himself, but some of it faded away as you ran your hand gently over his chest. 

Steve carried you out the door with Natasha trailing along behind you. “Babushka.” She said, her voice low and threatening. 

Steve froze long enough to let her catch up and you turned to her. You reached out a hand and cupped the side of her face. You wished you could stay and soothe her the way she clearly needed to be soothed, but you knew the conversation you were about to have with Steve was more pressing. Your granddaughter would always love you, but her heart didn’t bleed the same way that his did when you were hurt. 

You knew from experience. 

“Come to dinner? We can make a night of it.” You offered softly; wearily. 

Natasha looked at your face and then glanced above you to wear Steve was still staring resolutely ahead, his jaw still twitching, and she nodded. “Yeah. Family night. We can play monopoly.” She said, pulling away from you and slipping a blank mask over her features. 

Your heart broke. But you offered her a sad smile anyway. 

You dropped your hand into your lap again and Steve immediately set off, back towards your apartment. You closed your eyes and braced yourself. 

Sure enough, the second the door shut behind you, Steve started in. 

“You can’t be serious.” He growled, setting you gently on the couch only to move away and start pacing. 

“Why not?” You asked softly, curling in on yourself. 

“Sweetheart . . . he . . . he nearly killed you.” Steve whispered, his voice breaking as he remembered finding the blood at the empty warehouse in Turkey and then again when he found you curled up in the corner of that dingy HYDRA base in the middle of Russia. 

You shot one of the saddest smiles Steve had ever seen in his direction. “He would never have hurt me, Steve. You know this.” 

Steve was desperate to get you to understand. He stalked towards you and spun around ripping his shirt over his head so he could show you the scars that lined his back. The ones that matched yours exactly. He didn’t have to say anything. You closed your eyes and let out a shuddering breath. 

Steve dropped his shirt as he turned back to you. He sat on the coffee table and took your hands in his. “Doll.” His voice broke again and he squeezed your hands tightly in his. For a long minute the two of you sat in silence as you both tried to compose yourselves before he was able to start again. “Doll, I think it’s time we talk about the fact that Buck . . . Buck may not be in there anymore.” 

You pulled one of your hands out of your soulmates grip and wiped at your eyes while you squeezed his other hand with yours. “He is, though. He is Steve. I saw him.” 

Steve bent his head and let out a shuddering sigh. 

“He’s in there. The things that they did to him . . . that they did to me?” You squeezed your eyes shut and finally admitted the thing that you still had nightmares about. 

“HYDRA had a chair, Steve. They would put you in it and it would . . . it would scrub your brain clean. Everything you thought you knew . . . everyone you’d ever loved, gone. Just like that.” 

Steve’s head shot up to stare at you with horror building in his expression and you nodded your head. “They used it on us both.” You murmured, your eyes glassing over. “They . . .” You let out a breath. “They wanted to make us both their little puppets.” 

Steve reached a hand to cup your cheek and it trembled as it bent your head so he could lean his forehead against yours. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know.” He repeated. 

You shook your head quickly. “I didn’t want anyone to know.” You said. You let out a choked chuckle. “Ironically it is the part of my life that I just wanted to forget.” 

“How do . . . how did you remember me? After . . .” 

“After the dementia?” You suggested softly. You shrugged a shoulder. “It never stuck on me. Not for long anyway. No matter how many times they tried it. No matter what they did in the meantime. No matter how many volts they cranked it up to – I always ended up remembering. And when I remembered . . . I helped him remember too. It musta been you keeping me sane, baby.” You said, reaching out to stroke his face. 

Steve closed his eyes and that tick started up in his jaw again as he took a minute to process everything that you were saying. You gave him as much time as you felt like you could before spoke again. 

“Steve. He’s in there. Our Bucky is in there. We can’t leave him behind. We can’t.” 

Steve sighed again and turned his head to press a kiss to your palm. 

He took your hand in his and started playing with your fingers. “You loved him once.” He said softly, keeping his gaze on your hand and not on your face. “Is it possible that you’re letting that affect your decision now?” 

You closed your eyes and gave the question the proper amount of consideration that it deserved. “Maybe.” You admitted. “Is it possible that you’re letting your fear of me getting hurt affect YOUR decision now?” 

Steve glanced up at you then and smiled guiltily. “Your safety will always be my top priority, doll.” He said. 

You smiled and leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “And your safety will always be mine. But close second to that are the rest of our loved ones and that, Mister Rogers, includes one James Buchanan Barnes.” 

Steve nodded slowly. “Alright. Alright doll. We’ll get him back.” 

You leaned in and pressed another lingering kiss to Steve’s lips. “Thank you.” You murmured softly. 

“Don’t thank me yet, sweetheart. We’ll get him back but I have one condition.” 

“So help me, Rogers, if you even THINK about making me stay back . . .” You started to threaten. 

Steve chuckled. “Of course not. I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

“Then what?” You pulled away and folded your arms across your chest. 

Steve smirked as he matched your pose. “You have to be the one to tell our granddaughter.” 

You gulped. 

A knock sounded on the door as you and Steve teased one another in the kitchen. You glanced at him and he only smiled as he turned back to the pot of noodles he was stirring on the stove. 

You wiped your hands on your apron and went to answer the door. Natasha was standing on the outside of it with a bottle of wine cradled in her arms. 

“Natalia.” You cooed, sweeping her into a hug. As you stepped out of the door to take her in your arms; your eyebrows rose as you saw she wasn’t alone. “And . . . Tony.” You paused. “I didn’t realize it was a whole family affair.” You said before you took him in your arms too. Tony squeezed you especially tight. 

“You go missing for two weeks only to be miraculously returned to us and you don’t think it’s a family affair?” He scoffed. “I’m almost offended.” 

You held him tightly to your chest. “I’m sorry medvezhonok.” You murmured. “I promise I’m okay.” 

Tony pressed a kiss to your temple. “Liar.” He murmured back. 

Nat and Tony snuck into the apartment where Steve was still busy cooking. 

“Vnchka.” Steve smiled at your granddaughter. “And . . . Tony. Hi.” 

Tony smirked. “Don’t see what this is so surprising. I’m family too.” He said. “Besides I own this apartment. So technically, I’m right at home. You all are the interlopers. Well, not Babushka. She can stay as long as she likes.” 

You smirked at him as you passed and took the bottle of wine from Nat. “You wouldn’t kick your would-be-grandfather out on the streets, now would you?” You teased. 

Steve and Tony exchanged horrified looks before they both glanced elsewhere, finding anything else to stare at for a little while. 

You smiled as you opened the wine. 

“Dinner’s almost ready.” Steve said, pouring the water out of the noodles before mixing in the sauce you’d finished making a few minutes earlier. Natasha moved to the cupboards and started setting the table without being told. Tony pitched in silently and the four of you migrated to the table to start eating. 

The first five minutes passed in awkward silence before Nat finally pushed her plate away. “You’re not leaving.” She said, leaning back in her chair and leveling a glare your way. 

You put your fork down and narrowed your own eyes. “It’s sweet that you want to protect me, pauk . . .” You started. 

Tony shook his head. “No. She’s right. We just got you back. No way are we letting you back out there with that psycho running around. Who knows what he’ll do next time.” 

You bent your head and sighed before you pushed away from the table and put both hands on your hips. Your voice was low and threatening as you made yourself very, very clear. “The dynamics of our relationships changed when I was . . . under the weather before Steve came back. There was a need for that and I understand the need to continue protecting me. I’m even grateful that you both love me enough to try. But don’t you dare start thinking that I’m incapable of making my own decisions. I’ve had a lifetime of experiences before either of you were so much as a twinkle in your parent's eyes and I’ll be damned if I let you baby me into a corner. Do you understand me?” 

“I understood that reference.” Steve murmured from the head of the table. 

You shot him a look that would have killed lesser men. 

He smiled uncomfortably. 

Nat glared at you as though looking for the smallest hint of weakness. Tony sunk in his chair like a scolded child. Silence reigned. 

You sunk into your chair, suddenly very tired again and Steve pushed to his feet and came to stand beside you. “There’s more to the story than either of you understand.” He said softly, putting his hands on your shoulder. “We’re going to bring him back. Now. You have two options. You can help us or you can fight us but either way, we’re going.” 

You reached up and squeezed one of his hands. 

Nat’s eyes were spitting venom as she glared at her dinner plate. “When do we leave?” She asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1917 - Bucky Barnes is born.  
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - Bucky almost proposes. You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Bucky enlists. Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Bucky falls off the train. Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured by them and The Winter Soldier.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. Bucky starts remembering. (Present Day).


	10. How I Met Your Almost (Grand)Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's feeling some backstory? Backstory? Backstory?

"As soon as possible.” You said, glancing up at Steve. “We can’t let him get too far. We’ll never find him again.” That was a promise. 

You glanced at your granddaughter who nodded angrily as she stared at her half-eaten dinner. Then you glanced at Tony who met your eyes with an air of defiance you’d come to expect from him. 

“Fine.” He said shortly. “But I have two conditions, no questions asked.” 

You sighed. “Tony . . .” 

“No. Questions. Asked. Babushka. I’m not joking.” 

You stared him down for a long moment, trying to judge the amount of sincerity in his expression. Finally, you nodded. 

“Let’s go.” He said, pushing to his feet. Steve grabbed you hand as you pushed away from the table and wove his fingers with yours as you followed Tony out of the room and down to the labs. 

Tony waved his hand around and the lights turned on. He moved to the table and picked up a handheld device of some sort. “What’s the first condition, Tony?” You asked. 

“This.” He held up the device and jabbed it against your neck. 

You winced and held your neck. “What the hell?” You groaned. Steve was rubbing his own neck where the sharp pain had echoed across your soulmate bond as he tilted your head back to get a better look at the site of the injury. 

Tony shrugged. “Tracking device. Injectable. Now we can find you no matter where you end up. Just try to stay on planet Earth.” 

You shook your head at him exasperatedly. “Fine. But Steve and Natalia get them too.” You said. 

Tony shrugged a shoulder and quickly complied. You winced again as Steve was injected but you had to admit, it did set some of your fears at ease knowing that you’d be able to find them no matter what now. 

“What’s the second condition?” You asked, looking up at Tony. 

Tony gestured to the side and you followed him as he took you over to a suit standing in the corner. It was thinner than most models. More fit for a woman than for your quasi-grandson. “What’s this?” You asked. 

Tony smiled proudly. “This, this is your new suit.” 

You glanced at him. “Tony . . .” 

He shook his head. “Don’t give me the whole 'I have a suit and wings, you didn’t need to do this'. Those were both outdated and you know it.” He turned more fully to you and leaned down so Steve couldn’t hear his next whispered words. “You keep leaving me. This is my way of making sure you’ll always make it back. Please . . .” He swallowed hard. “Please take it. And please come back.” 

You reached out and gathered him firmly in his arms. “Always.” You promised. You pulled back and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you.” 

Tony smiled and squeezed your hand before he reached over and double tapped the arc reactor in the center of the suit. The suit retracted backwards into the glowing disk and Tony handed it to you. “Double tap to activate. STEPAN’s already uploaded and connected to FRIDAY. Keep it on you.” 

“I will.” You nodded. 

“Great.” Tony said, clapping his hands and turning back to the rest of the room. “Happy hunting.” He shooed you out of the labs and you squeezed his hand one last time before you followed Steve and Nat out of the lab and towards the locker rooms. 

You and Steve sat at the front of the quinjet as you plotted your course back to the HYDRA cell you’d barely gone a week without seeing. You glanced back at Nat who was sitting all too still in her seat while she glared at the floor. 

“She’s just worried about you.” Steve said softly beside you, catching your attention. “You had her worried.” 

You flipped a few switches on the console as you nodded. “I know.” You said softly. 

“It’s not your fault.” He said, reaching out to take your hand. 

You squeezed it. “I know that too.” You said softly. You glanced back one more time and then started shrugging out of your harness. “I’m going to go talk to her.” You said, leaning down to kiss him. 

He rubbed at your cheek. “I’ll keep an eye on things up here.” He said. 

You nodded and turned to walk to Nat’s side. You eased yourself into a chair beside her and pretended not to notice the way that she tensed. 

For a minute, neither of you said anything. 

Then, Nat spoke up. “Why are you so invested in him, Babushka? Do you not remember what he did to you? Or did they wipe that too?” She asked, her voice dark and bitter. 

You flinched but quickly schooled your expression back into a blank mask. “You knew about that, huh?” You asked. 

Nat scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I’m me.” She said. 

“Doesn’t answer the question.” 

Nat glanced at you and must have seen something in your expression despite your best efforts because she immediately softened. She glanced back at the ground. “When Clint first brought me to SHIELD . . . when I first met you . . . You have to understand, Babushka. I didn’t know who to trust. And there you were. A woman who looked not much older than I did. Someone who spoke fluent Russian and was claiming to be my grandmother.” 

“You thought it was a trap.” You surmised. 

She nodded. “I went looking for the truth.” 

You closed your eyes and leaned your head back. “And you found it. All of it.” 

You felt her nod beside you. “HYDRA has always kept very detailed notes on all its assets.” 

You flinched again at the word but couldn’t deny the truth of her statement. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

She shrugged. “You were already fading away by the time we met Babushka. If you didn’t remember what they’d done to you . . . what HE had don’t to you . . . I didn’t want to be the one to remind you. And then . . .” 

“And then I wasn’t there to be reminded.” You whispered. 

Nat nodded. 

You sighed and opened your eyes. You reached over and brushed her hair with your hand. “There’s so much you don’t understand about what happened, my little pauk.” You said. “So much that you simply can’t read in a file.” 

“Tell me about it, then.” 

“It’s not a pretty story.” You warned. 

“Tell me anyway.” Nat said, leaning her head against your shoulder. 

You nodded and your expression glazed over as you disappeared into memories of the past. 

“It was 1940. World War II had already been underway for almost a year. Though it would be another year before the US entered it. The effects of the depression could still be felt. But things were starting to look up for the country. For my family, though, things were just starting to get difficult. My father had been recently injured in a factory accident that let him completely disabled and unable to work any longer. Mother and I had started taking in laundry and sewing in an effort to help make ends meet. Mother and Father didn’t want my little brother, Davey to know about the situation. He was just thirteen. Still a child. They had hoped that he would graduate high school and perhaps even attend college. They wanted him to be more successful than they had been.” 

“The thing was . . .” A small smile graced your lips as you remembered your precocious little brother. “The thing was, Davey . . . it had always been too smart for his own good.” 

Nat chuckled. “Sounds a bit like Dedushka.” 

You nodded and laughed. “Two peas in the same pod.” You agreed. “Your mother too, come to think of it.” You added. Nat reached over and squeezed your hand as you both shared a moment of silence for Alena. 

“What happened?” Nat prompted quietly. 

You cleared your throat. “Davey realized that things were much worse than he’d been led to believe and he dropped out of school and took a job down at the docks all without telling any of us.” You chuckled and wiped a tear away from your eye. “Here he was, a thirteen-year-old boy and he convinced the owner to give him a job that would normally belong to grown men twice his size. I never knew how he’d done it.” 

“How’d you find out?” 

“Davey came home one night, black and blue. See, he’d gotten on the wrong side of a couple of fellow dockhands. Davey was always a hard worker and I think he thought he had something to prove. He put the rest of the fellas to shame and they didn’t take kindly to that. Lucky for Davey, another dockhand was passing by and saw the commotion. He stepped in and help Davey fight ‘em off. James Buchanan Barnes.” You shook your head. “He made a fast friend in my brother that day.” 

Natasha was silent for a long minute. “Why’d he do it?” She asked, desperate to understand the connection you shared with this man you were so willing to die for now. “Why’d he help?” 

You smiled down at her sadly and brushed your hand through her hair again. “Oh, pauk. The man you knew is nothing like the man he once was. He did it because he saw grown men beating on a kid half their size and he couldn’t let that injustice stand. He did it because he was used to breaking up those kinds of fights because your Dedushka got into them all the time. James did it because Davey reminded him of Steve and he couldn’t help himself.” 

Nat closed her eyes and nodded against your shoulder. 

You glanced up towards the cockpit as Steve glanced over his shoulder and smiled at you sadly. You could see the sympathy in his eyes for the loss you felt as you told your story. Not just for Bucky but for Davey and your parents too. 

You cleared your throat. “Our mother was beside herself when Davey came home that night looking so roughed up. She demanded to know what he’d gotten himself into and Davey was forced to confess. He’d been working there for weeks, sneaking his wages into the coffee tin under the sink where mama and I had been keeping our earnings. We had never noticed. Mama was upset. Papa was proud. Both wanted to know who had saved his bacon though, because Davey was a lot of things but he’d never been much of one for a fight.” 

“Davey confessed that one Bucky Barnes had stepped in. Mama had gushed over James and ordered Davey to invite him for dinner the following night. ‘It was only right’, she’d said, ‘that we thank him properly.’” Your smile took on a fond tone as you remembered what happened next. “Davey had smiled at me mischievously and had said that he thought that it was a ‘great idea’. I knew he had something up his sleeve, I just hadn’t known what.” 

“Bucky came to dinner the next night and it was then that I knew . . . My brave, daring, utterly dead-to-me younger brother was playing match-maker and damn had he done a good job.” 

Nat pulled away and glanced up at you with a mixture of shock and amusement painted on her face. You shrugged a shoulder. “A girl has needs, Natalia.” You teased. 

She looked horrified but quickly hid the expression. 

You chuckled. 

She leaned back against your shoulder grudgingly. “How’d Dedushka take that?” She grumbled. 

Your smile slid off your face and you glanced at your hands in your lap. “We’re getting there.” You said. 

“Bucky and I hit it off immediately.” Your voice was quiet now. “It was clear that my parents and Davey were hoping it would blossom into something more. They found every opportunity that night to sit us next to one another and even a few times, managed to leave us alone altogether which was entirely scandalous at the time. They weren’t exactly subtle about their intentions but Bucky didn’t seem to mind. He was one of the most charismatic men I’d ever met and at twenty-one I’d met several. He had a way of putting everyone at ease. I . . . I don’t know how to describe it. It was almost like you’d known him your whole life. It wasn’t hard to fall in love with him.” 

“Did you?” 

You let out a shaky breath. “With my whole heart.” You admitted, your voice cracking. 

You wiped at your eyes furiously. “Bucky and spent all our free time together for two months. We fell hard and fast but it was one of those times where when you know, you know. It wasn’t long before we started talking marriage and our parents couldn’t have been happier. They knew, of course, that we weren’t soulmates but . . .” You struggled to put into words the feelings and sentiments of a time long past. “The US may not have entered the war but the shadow of it fell over us all the same. When such a darkness falls over the world, soulmates . . . soulmates aren’t sought after the way they otherwise would be. Too many halves of wholes are cut down in their prime and it brings too much pain to wait for something that may never happen. Bucky and I weren’t soulmates in the traditional sense of the word, my parents weren’t either. But we were ‘soulmates of our own making’ as my mother liked to say. It was enough for the both of us.” 

“Then you met Dedushka.” Nat said softly, guessing the next part of the story. 

You nodded. “Then I met your grandfather.” 

“Bucky had been telling me for months that he wanted me to meet his best friend. They were ‘brothers’ he liked to say. He used to joke that he might need to ask my father for permission to marry me but I should really ask Steve for his permission to marry Bucky. I would laugh and say that I would ask Steve for permission if I ever met him, but it’s hard to ask someone something when you’ve never met.” 

“Steve was sick.” You said, seeing the question on Nat’s face. “He’d always been sick but he and his mother had struggled to get him the medications he needed during the depression and he had been worse off than usual. Bucky hadn’t introduced us because he was worried that I might pass something on to his friend that Steve wouldn’t recover from. It was a valid fear. Your Dedushka used to be much more fragile than he is now.” You glanced up at the cockpit and smiled teasingly as Steve turned around and sent a half-hearted glare in your direction. 

You glanced back down at Natasha. “Eventually, though, eventually he was well enough for Bucky to arrange a meeting and what a meeting it was supposed to be. Bucky had already asked my father for permission to marry me and my parents had readily agreed. They loved Bucky. They always had. He was a man’s man and he’d take care of me.” 

“Bucky had everything planned for that night. He was going to take me to Coney Island. They had a Ferris Wheel there. We were going to ride to the top and he was going to propose as we looked out over the night sights. Steve was going to come along and bribe the operator to stop the wheel right as we reached the top. It was going to be perfect.” 

You sighed and glanced down at your granddaughter. “It was the night that changed everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to have one more chapter out tonight, so keep an eye out for that! 
> 
> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1917 - Bucky Barnes is born.  
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - Bucky almost proposes. You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Bucky enlists. Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Bucky falls off the train. Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured by them and The Winter Soldier.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. Bucky starts remembering. (Present Day).


	11. *Flashback 1940*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback scene

*Flashback 1940* 

You chuckled as your parents waved you off. “Go, go! Have fun.” Your father said, smiling broadly. 

“Be safe.” Your mother said, kissing your cheek. 

“I’ll get her home safe.” Bucky promised as he helped you slip your coat on. You glanced over at your brother who was standing beside the kitchen table. He eyed you meaningfully and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Your whole family thought they were being sneaky, but Davey had already ruined the surprise earlier that morning. 

“He’s gonna ask you something tonight and you’re going to say yes.” He’d said when he’d slipped into your room that morning. 

“Oh?” You’d asked coyly. “What if I want to say no?” 

Davey had shaken his head. “You wont want to. I see the way you look at him when you think no one’s lookin’.” 

You’d thrown your shoe at him. “Just say yes! Or you ain’t no sister of mine!” He’d laughed as he fled. 

James held the door open for you and you smiled as you passed by him. He poked his head back through the door and whispered something to your parents while you stood behind him, frankly amused. James was many things, subtle, he was not. 

Eventually, he poked his head out of the door and shut it behind him. “Shall we?” He asked, offering you his arm. 

“Where are you taking me tonight, Mr. Barnes?” You asked, reaching up to pluck his hat off his head and plop it on yours. 

James laughed and stole his hat back and stole a quick kiss too for good measure. You smirked up at him as he put his hat back on his head. “We are going to Coney Island.” He said grandly. 

You chuckled. “Well you sure know how to show a girl a good time but don’t you think for a second I’m getting on one of those death-traps they call rides.” 

James glanced at you lovingly. “Oh, come on, doll. Live a little. You have to go on at least one with me.” 

You pretended to consider it for a minute. “I suppose it depends on which one you have in mind.” 

James’ face lit up with one of his patented million-watt smiles. “Oh, I do.” 

“Don’t suppose you feel inclined to share which it is?” You asked. 

James’ smile turned mischievous and you groaned. “You’ll just have to wait and see, doll. But trust me, you’ll love it.” 

The ride to Coney Island was quick enough with the two of you laughing and dreaming about the future together. It was almost a surprise with the conductor called out your stop. 

James’ smile only grew as he helped you from your ride and took your hand in his again. “Come on.” He said, pulling you forward. You laughed as you ran behind him, trying to keep up. 

“Slow down. Not all of us are as tall as you, mister.” You teased. 

James immediately slowed to a walk and glanced at you with a guilty smile. “Sorry, doll. Just excited.” He admitted. 

“Mmm. For the ride? Or for something else?” You wondered vaguely if he’d admit the real reason he’d dragged you all this way tonight of all nights. 

He didn’t. “Just excited for you to meet my best friend is all.” He said, shrugging a shoulder. 

You gasped at him in dramatically acted shock. “THE Steven Grant Rogers is here tonight? Be still my beating heart! I was beginning to think such a famous soul could ONLY be made up. Surely no one actually gets in that many back-alley fights.” 

James pinched your arm playfully. “I wish I was makin’ that up.” He groaned. “Stevie attracts more trouble than your brother on a good day and that’s saying something.” 

You swatted his hand away and glanced over the crowd. “Well? Where is he? I'm dyin’ to meet this ‘man of mystery’.” 

James chuckled and glanced over the crowd. “There he is.” He said, pointing towards the ticket desk. 

You pulled him forward. “Well! Let’s go!” 

James chuckled as he took the lead and pulled you towards the bench that Steve was sitting on. “Hey punk!” He called over the crowd. 

Steve’s head jerked up in response and you got your first glance at the man James had been filling your head with stories of since the two of you had first met. 

Steve looked every bit as sickly as he had been portrayed to be and you felt a wave of sympathy wash through you. It was a hard life he’d been asked to live. 

“Buck.” Steve said, pushing to his feet. He hunched in on himself as he shoved his hands in his jacket pocket. 

James pulled you to a stop behind him. “Steve, I’d like you to finally meet the girl I won’t shut up about. Stevie, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is the punk I’ve been telling you all about.” 

You reached out a hand to shake Steve’s and Steve hastily pulled his out of his pocket. “Nice to meet you.” You said, smiling. 

“Likewise.” Steve said, just as his skin made contact with yours. 

A flash of light burst out of your connected palms and you gasped as a piece of your soul that you hadn’t known was missing slid home. 

Steve yanked his hand out of yours and collapsed back on the bench, breathing heavily. 

The three of you stood or sat in stunned silence before you gathered enough wits about you to realize that you’d drawn a sizeable crowd. “Excuse us.” You muttered under your breath as you grabbed Steve’s arm and heaved him from the bench at the same time you grabbed James’ arm and pulled the two of them to a more secluded part of the pier. 

The second you got some privacy, you dropped their arms like they’d burned you and you took a step back, breathing hard. 

“Doll?” James asked, swallowing hard as he glanced at your pale face. You shook your head rapidly. “Stevie?” James tried, turning to his friend who looked about as well as you did. 

Steve glanced at you with wide eyes before his head dropped again to stare at the ground. 

“I . . . I uh . . .” James tried. “I think I’ll just leave you two alone to get acquainted for a minute.” James said, his voice distant. He took a step towards a bench a way away and you shook your head as you stepped towards him. 

“Wait . . . James . . .” 

He glanced at you and then at Steve. “It’s . . . wow. Huh?” He asked. You could only nod in response. “I just need a minute, doll. I’m sorry.” 

Tears filled your vision and you blinked them back. “No. I’m sorry.” You cried softly. 

James shook his head and stepped towards you. He used his thumb to brush aside your tears. “We always knew something like this might happen one day.” He reminded you. He glanced over your shoulder at his friend and knew exactly what was running through Steve’s head in that minute. James turned back to you. “You could do a lot worse than him, doll.” He said softly. He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to your lips before he turned and walked to the bench, leaving you and Steve alone. 

You stood frozen for a long minute before you heard Steve shuffle towards you quietly. “I’m . . . geez. I’m so sorry.” He mumbled. 

You wiped at your face as you turned back to him. “Whatever for?” You asked, trying to smile. 

Steve shrugged and seemed to hunch even further in on himself. 

You glanced around and saw another empty bench that you gestured towards. “Do you mind if we sit?” You asked. 

Steve shook his head and led the way to the bench. 

The two of you sat in awkward silence for a long minute. “I’m sorry.” Steve apologized again. “I’m not exactly soulmate material. You . . . you should be with Bucky. You mean the world to him, Y/N. He hasn’t shut up about you since the two of you met and I mean that in a good way. Plus . . . no offense . . . you seem like you care a lot about him too.” 

You couldn’t help yourself as your gaze drifted across the way where Bucky was twirling something small in his hands as he sat hunched over on the bench. 

Your heart broke all over again. “I do.” You admitted. 

Steve sighed. “So . . . so you should be with him. I won’t stand in your way. Promise.” 

You chuckled sadly and shook your head, turning your attention back to Steve. “You wouldn’t be the one standing in our way.” You said softly. 

Steve’s eyes flicked to Bucky and then back to you again. He smiled ruefully. “Yeah. You might be right about that.” 

You sighed. “He loves us both too much to try, Steve.” You shook your head and yelled you in frustration. “Gah!” You cried. “This is a mess, isn’t it?” You asked. 

Steve smiled. “Not the way I imagined it happening.” He agreed. 

You reached out a hand hesitantly and put in on his knee. “Whatever the circumstances, I’m happy I finally got to meet you Mr. Steven Grant Rogers; Back Alley Hero.” 

Steve groaned. “He told you about that?” 

You smiled and shrugged a shoulder and Steve buried his face in his hands. 

The two of you slipped into a comfortable silence and you felt the soulmate bond between you grow. You could feel the affection already building and knew that it wouldn’t take much for it to turn into something more. But your heart still very much belonged to another and you couldn’t just will those emotions away. 

“Where do we go from here?” You asked softly. 

Steve shrugged a shoulder. “I guess we take it slow?” 

You nodded slowly. “Alright.” You agreed. “We take it slow.” 

Steve smiled at you softly and pushed to his feet. He waited for you to hop to yours before you both made your way slowly to Bucky’s side. 

Bucky saw you coming and slipped the ring he’d been playing with back into his coat pocket. “Hey. You two work everything out?” He asked softly, wiping at his nose. 

You glanced at Steve and shrugged a shoulder “We’re taking it slow.” You said, almost begging Bucky to say something, to fight for you. 

He did neither. 

Instead, he gestured over his shoulder. “We should get you home, doll.” He said softly. 

“Right.” You whispered. 

You were trapped between both of them on the silent ride home and somehow it made your heart ache all the more. 

“Are you going to come up?” You asked, not sure who you were talking to. 

Both shook their heads. “Alright.” You murmured, sliding out of the cab. “Steve, my folks will want to meet you.” You had to push the words past your lips. “Will you come over tomorrow night at seven for dinner?” 

Steve glanced at Bucky who was doing his best not to eavesdrop on the conversation. Steve sighed and nodded. 

You smiled at him sadly. “Goodnight Steve. James.” 

You walked up the stairs of your apartment in an almost trance like state. You paused just outside your front door when you saw the light burning underneath it. You threw your head back and steeled yourself for the conversation you weren’t going to be able to avoid and you opened the door. 

Your mother was sitting at the table, a pile of sewing in front of her, and a lantern burning beside her. She glanced up as you entered. 

“Hi mama.” You said, softly, shucking your coat. 

“Hi baby! Well?! How did it go?! You said yes, right? I assume you said yes! Oh, baby, I’m so happy for you!” 

You turned around to face her then and your mother saw the tears streaming down your face for the first time. “I didn’t say yes.” You cried. 

Your mother pushed to her feet and raced towards you. “Y/N? Oh, baby. What happened?” She asked, wrapping you in her arms. 

You clung to her tightly. “He never got a chance to ask, mama.” 

“Whyever not?” 

“I met my soulmate tonight instead.” You said, pulling away so you could wrap your arms around your stomach. 

Your mother paled. “Your soulmate?” She echoed. 

You nodded. 

“Oh, baby.” You nodded again as the tears started streaming down your face once more. “Poor James.” She whispered. 

“That’s the worst part, mama. My soulmate is his best friend.” 

“Steve?” 

You nodded again. 

“Oh.” Your mother sat heavily down on the couch. “Oh.” She said again. 

“I invited him to dinner tomorrow night, I hope you don’t mind.” You whispered. 

Your mother shook her head. “Of course not. Just . . . it’s a lot to take in.” She admitted. 

You nodded tiredly. “I think I’m going to go to bed, mama. It’s been a long day.” You said softly. 

Your mother nodded as you turned to wander to your room. “Goodnight, baby.” She said distractedly. 

Just before you were about to close the door, she called your name softly. “You and Steve might be destined soulmates but you and Bucky are soulmates of the heart. You shouldn’t forget that. Don’t go forgetting Bucky too quickly.” You could see something ardent in her expression, but you knew Bucky wouldn’t cross that line now that he knew who your real soulmate was. He loved Steve too much to do that to him. And you loved Bucky all the more for it. 

“Goodnight, mama.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look. I made myself cry.
> 
> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1917 - Bucky Barnes is born.  
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - Bucky almost proposes. You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Bucky enlists. Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Bucky falls off the train. Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured by them and The Winter Soldier.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. Bucky starts remembering. (Present Day).


	12. *Flashback 1940* Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Flashback 1940* Part II

*Flashback 1940* 

You paced around the living room and bit your lip. You glanced up at the clock that hung over the kitchen table where dinner had been growing cold for the past ten minutes. Steve was late and you parents were growing agitated. 

By the time you’d stumbled out of bed that morning, your mother had already told your father and your brother what had happened last night. You’d been expecting more sympathy than you’d gotten. To your surprise, both your mother and father had individually pulled you aside to remind you that soulmates didn’t mean you had to marry Steve and that perhaps you and Bucky should sit down and have a long conversation about the future you could still share. 

You glanced at the clock again just as a frantic knock sounded on the door. You smoothed your dress and moved to open it, doing your best to ignore the tension you could feel pouring off your family. “Steve.” You said, opening the door as you plastered a hostess worthy smile on your face. Both you and Steve knew it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Won’t you come in?” You stood aside and Steve entered the tiny apartment. 

“Sorry I’m late.” He mumbled. “I got caught up at work and I would have run but my doctor said that I shouldn’t . . . asthma.” He finished clumsily. 

You took his coat from him as you gestured towards your family. “Steve, these are my parents and my brother Davey. Everyone, this is Steve . . my . . . soulmate.” You and Steve both winced at the word and your father’s eyes narrowed as he took in Steve’s sickly appearance. 

“Pleasure to meet you, sir.” Steve said, holding out a hand for your father to shake. 

It was only the rules of etiquette that forced your father to comply but you ducked your head in embarrassment at the hardly disguised unimpressed look on your father's face. 

“Shall we?” Your mother suggested briskly, leading the way to the table. 

You saw Steve’s shoulders slump and you squeezed his hand as you passed. ‘I’m sorry.’ You mouthed. 

He shook his head. ‘I expected worse.’ He mouthed back. 

Your heart broke for him. There seemed to be a lot of that going around lately. 

Dinner itself didn’t seem to go much better. 

“So . . . Steve.” Your father started. “What is it you do for a living?” 

“Daddy.” You begged. 

Your father shot you a look and you ducked your head quietly. 

Steve reached over and squeezed your hand comfortingly under the table. “I work part time at a grocery store.” He said. 

“Only part time?” Your father’s eyebrow rose. 

“When my health permits it, sir.” Steve said. 

Your father nodded. “Asthma was it?” 

“And a few others, sir.” Steve nodded. 

“Oh? What else?” Your mother asked, shooting you a look as if to say; ‘Bucky didn’t have these problems.’ 

“High blood pressure, heart trouble, and scarlet fever every now and again.” Steve said quietly. 

The tension in the air was palpable as your father’s eyes narrowed and glared between you and Steve. You sank further into your chair. 

“Say, Steve, how’d you meet Bucky?” Your brother asked. You shot him a grateful smile. He didn’t quite return your gaze but he smiled tensely back. 

The rest of dinner passed in quiet conversation. 

You followed Steve out into the hallway. “I’m so, so sorry about that.” You said glancing up at him and blushing. “They had no right.” 

Steve shook his head and sighed. “It’s okay, doll. Like I said, I know I’m not soulmate material.” 

You shook your head and grabbed one of his hands in both of yours. “I beg to differ Mr. Rogers. And if you’d still like to try this with me, I’m in it, one-hundred percent.” 

Steve smiled at you and shook his head. “Bucky was right. You’re something else.” He said softly. 

The two of you shared a strained smile and then he gestured over his shoulder. “I have to go.” He said. 

“Be safe.” You echoed. 

It wasn’t exactly an ‘I love you’ but the growing sentiment was there all the same. 

Steve smiled one last time and then he turned and walked away. 

You watched until he rounded the corner and then you took a deep breath and walked back inside. 

Your mother was perched on the couch watching your father pace around angrily. Both their eyes swung to the door as you opened it and stepped inside. 

“He’s not good enough for you.” Your father started. 

You opened your mouth to argue, already shaking your head but your father cut you off. “I’m not done.” He snapped. 

You closed your mouth and leaned wearily against the door. 

“What a good man like Bucky Barnes ever saw in that . . . boy . . . I will never understand.” Your father groused. “Steve Rogers will never be more than he is now. A good for nothing nobody that you will have to provide for. Is that something you really want? To be saddled with . . . with that . . . for the rest of your life?!” 

Your eyes were spewing vitriol as you glared up at your father. “That MAN was willing to walk away from what may be his one shot at a wife and a family if it meant making Bucky and I happy.” Your voice was deceptively calm. “That MAN is one of the most selfless people I have ever met.” 

Your mother gasped. “He said he’d walk away? Oh, baby. Why didn’t you let him?” 

You rounded on her. “Because Bucky wouldn’t do it! And I won’t either! Steve Rogers is a good man! He deserves a chance at happiness! And Bucky deserves more than to be some sort of consolation prize!” 

Your father’s face turned red and he jabbed a finger in your direction. “No daughter of mine will ever be with the likes of that BOY. He will never again be welcome under this roof and neither will you be!” 

You nodded as your father stomped away and you felt the shattered pieces of your already broken heart forge themselves into something hardened and unbreakable. “Then I guess I’m no daughter of yours.” You whispered. 

Your mother came up to you and took your face in her hands. “He’ll leave you a widow before you’re a bride.” She whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

You closed your eyes and listened to the sounds of her footsteps moving down the hall and then you turned to Davey. “I’m sorry I couldn’t say yes.” You cried. 

He shook his head and came up to you. He wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tightly. “You don’t have to apologize to me, sis.” He murmured. “Just be happy.” 

Davey wandered down the hallway too, leaving you alone. You took a minute to glance around the apartment that had been your home your entire life. You traced your hand over the familiar paintings and dents. You smiled fondly as you saw the crack in the wall Davey had caused when he’d run full tilt into it when he was seven. And you glanced at the paint stain you’d created on the floor the summer you’d first helped your mother whitewash the walls. 

You wandered to your bedroom and you pulled a carpetbag out from under your bed and packed the few sets of clothes and shoes that you owned as well as your toiletries. You glanced at the jewelry box Davey and your father had made for you a few Christmases ago and briefly thought about taking the few precious stones you’d inherited from inside. They would be worth a pretty penny if you could find a place to sell them but, you shook your head, they were family heirlooms and you were no longer a part of this family. 

You sat on your bed and took everything in one last time before you pulled a piece of paper out of your journal and wrote a single, simple message when other words wouldn’t come. 

‘I’m sorry. I can’t. All my love, Y/N.’ 

You set it on your pillow and then you snuck back into the hallway with your bag and moved into the kitchen. You took one last look around the place and then you slipped your coat on snuck out the front door. 

Steve------------------ 

“It couldn’t have been that bad, Stevie.” Bucky said, trying to be supportive despite the ache building in his gut. 

“They hate me, Buck. It was obvious to anyone with eyes they want you to marry her. Not me.” 

Bucky sighed and closed his eyes fighting against the desire within him that said that he wanted that too. It wasn’t right. He wouldn’t take you away from your soulmate. Your real one. Neither of you deserved that. 

A timid knock on the door sounded and Bucky and Steve glanced at one another before Bucky pushed to his feet and answered it. 

“Doll?!” He gasped. You glanced up at him with red-rimmed eyes and the saddest smile he’d ever seen. 

“I’m so sorry to do this to you.” You started, glancing between Steve and Bucky. “I had nowhere else to go.” 

Bucky glanced down and saw the bag in your hands. He glanced at Steve and it was an easy decision to make. He reached down and took your bag from your hands as Steve pulled you inside. 

“You can stay with us.” Steve said softly, rubbing your back comfortingly. Bucky’s jaw tensed at the sign of affection, but he didn’t say anything as he set your bag aside and gestured towards the couch. 

“You run away from home?” Bucky asked softly. 

You chuckled. “No home to run away from.” You said. 

Steve and Bucky shot each other alarmed looks. “They kicked you out?” Bucky demanded incredulously. 

You nodded and Steve closed his eyes and swallowed hard. It was his fault, he thought. 

Bucky shook his head and wandered to the linen closet where they kept the spare blankets they used during the winter when they couldn’t afford to heat the apartment enough to keep Steve from getting sick. “You and Steve can take the bed.” He offered. “I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

You and Steve glanced at each other and then quickly away. “No.” You said softly. “I’m already interrupting your lives. I can take the couch.” 

Bucky sighed and glanced at the two of you. “I think we need to talk about the elephant in the room.” He said softly. 

The two of you glanced at him and then away and he almost smiled. You really were a match made in heaven. 

Bucky pulled up a chair and sat in front of you. “You two are soulmates. Whatever you and I shared doll, it’s nothing compared to what you’re going to share with him.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, not unlike how those words squeezed at his own heart. 

“Steve. You’re never gonna do better than this gal’ right here. So both of you, stop fighting the feelings that I know are threatening to come out. You’re literally made for one another and don’t worry about me. Just be happy.” 

You and Steve both squeezed Bucky’s hands and Bucky gestured with his chin towards the single bedroom in the apartment. “Go on now. You look like you could both use some sleep. Just . . . no funny business, huh? Some of us have to work in the morning.” His smile was forced but the joke did manage to lighten the tension. 

Steve reached down to pick up your bag and showed you the way to the bedroom. You stood in the hallway for a long second as you and Bucky stared at each other. “I’m sorry.” You whispered. 

He shook his head. “Be happy.” He whispered back. 

You smiled and slipped into the bedroom after Steve. 

“One of us has to be.” Bucky groaned into his hands. 

*Present day* 

Bucky woke with a start. He panted hard as he glanced around the dingy room he’d holed up in for the night. He pressed a hand against his frantically beating heart. 

“Shit.” He cursed. “Y/N.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh LOOK. I did it AGAIN.
> 
> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1917 - Bucky Barnes is born.  
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - Bucky almost proposes. You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Bucky enlists. Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Bucky falls off the train. Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured by them and The Winter Soldier.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. Bucky REMEMBERS. (Present Day).


	13. What Will We Do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter. 'Twas a necessary evil. We needed a moment between Steve and Reader to set something up for the future.

Natasha’s thoughts had drifted not long after your story had ended and you left her to work through it on her own. You knew it was a lot to take in. 

You squeezed her hand once before you moved towards the front of the jet and slid into the copilots seat next to Steve. 

“How’d she take it?” He asked. 

You glanced back at Nat. Her elbows were braced on her knees as she thought through everything you’d told her and the things she’d found out on her own. 

“As well as can be expected.” You said, turning forward again to glanced at the readouts on screen. 

Steve nodded to himself for a minute as he adjusted course slightly. “What are we going to do about this?” He asked, glancing at you. 

Your hands froze on the controls for a fraction of a second before you continued. “What do you mean?” You asked softly. 

Steve sighed and turned to face you fully. “Suppose Bucky’s still in there, sweetheart. Do we bring him back with us?” 

You nodded, though you couldn’t quite look at him. “Of course.” 

Steve glanced at his hands. “And if he doesn’t want to go?” 

You shook your head. “We convince him.” 

Steve was silent for a long minute before he reached out and took your hand in his and pulled you around so you were facing him. “You love him.” He said. I wasn’t a question. 

You risked a glance up at him. There was no judgement in his eyes. No hurt. It was just a statement of fact. One he’d always known. 

“I always did.” You agreed softly. 

Steve squeezed your hands in his. “Doll . . .” He sighed. 

“He’s in there, Stevie. He is. Please, trust me on this. You didn’t give up on me for two years when I had dementia. I’m just asking for a little bit more of that same faith.” 

Steve sent a small smile your way and leaned forward. You leaned forward too to meet him halfway. He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before he pulled away and leaned his forehead against yours. “When did our life get so complicated, huh doll?” He asked. 

You shook your head and smiled wryly. “I think the day I met Steven Grant Rogers; Back Alley Hero at a lil’ place called Coney Island.” 

Steve pulled away and wiped a thumb across your check, wiping away the tears you hadn’t realized you were crying. “All these years and you still remember that?” He asked softly. 

You took his wrist and moved it until you could slip your palm in it the way your hands had met nearly seventy years ago. “How could I forget? It was one of the best days of my life, even if I didn’t realize it at the time.” 

You smiled up at him. 

Steve squeezed your hand and turned back to the controls. “We’ll find him, doll. We’ll bring him home.” You smiled at your husband and thanked your lucky stars that of all the soulmates you could have had, Steve had been the one destined for you. 

Bucky---------------- 

Bucky ran his hands through his hair and paced around the cramped room in aggravation. The flood of memories had stopped almost an hour ago, but he couldn’t even begin to unravel them. He remembered it ALL. Or at least, he remembered everything to do with you from a part of his life that still seemed more dream than reality. 

He remembered the feel of your skin against his. He remembered the taste of your lips. He remembered the cute way your face would scrunch up when you were thinking hard. He even remembered the unique smell of your perfume. You’d been his happy place for so long. The woman he’d pictured spending the rest of his life with. He could even remember bits and pieces of the life you’d planned together. The kids you’d imagined having together. The adventures and the joys. 

And just like that. You’d met your soulmate and it had all disappeared. 

Not entirely, of course. You’d moved in with him and Steve and Bucky had been able to see even more of you then. See, but not touch. It had been frowned on for a single woman to live alone with two men at the time. That much Bucky remembered. Two days after you’d arrived and after it had become apparent that your father refused to have anything else to do with you, Bucky had dragged you and Steve to City Hall and had served as witness when the two of you exchanged vows. It had been a tense affair. Nothing like the white wedding you’d once dreamed of and the tears shed by you and by Bucky later that night in secret hadn’t been tears of joy like either of you had hoped. 

Bucky pulled at his hair now as he remembered all of it. That yearning for you had never gone away. Living so close to you for the year that he had before he’d left for war had been a bittersweet kind of torture. He’d kept telling himself that he should move out, leave the two of you alone. But Steve was so sick and the wages you made working part-time at the diner down the street just wasn’t enough to make rent and pay for the medicines your husband had needed. So Bucky stayed. 

Bucky slumped to the ground and stared at his metal hand. He remembered that too. What he’d done with it. More specifically what he’d done to YOU with it. 

He remembered every scream of pain. 

Every fallen tear. 

Every pleading whisper. 

Bucky’s slammed his head against the wall behind him and let the tears fall down his face. He’d done all of that. 

But you hadn’t pulled away. 

Trapped in the place he’d hurt you the most, lost in a sea of memories that made it hard to discern past from present you hadn’t hesitated to send him away in an effort to protect him from whoever you thought was coming. 

Bucky dirty fingers over his lips as he remembered your frantic kiss; ‘For luck.’ You’d said. 

Bucky’s fingers clenched around his legs as he drew them up to his chest. Your name was a plea on his lips, echoing faintly in the abandoned base you’d both been forced to change in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh geez. My heart. We're coming to an end of the story though, one way or another. Hope you guys have enjoyed!
> 
> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Prophecies? Questions? Suggestions for the future?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1917 - Bucky Barnes is born.  
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - Bucky almost proposes. You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Bucky enlists. Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Bucky falls off the train. Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured by them and The Winter Soldier.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. Bucky starts remembering. (Present Day).


	14. The Long Road Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Thepracticalheartmom who was a pretty awesome cheerleader throughout the whoooole writing process.
> 
> Special thanks to all of you for sticking with me. Thanks for reading!

The jet landed with barely a whisper outside of the same base it had fled from a week ago. “We’re not going to have a lot of time.” Natasha said, slipping weapons into place on her suit. “A SHIELD jet lands twice in a week? If HYDRA still has eyes, they’re going to want answers and if they don’t . . . the KGB will.” 

You and Steve glanced at each other and nodded. You could do fast. 

“In and out. We’re looking for tracks, clues. Anything to say where he’s gone.” You said, quickly laying out the plan. “Heat scans showed nothing but be careful. I don’t want anything happening to either of you.” You glanced at both of them seriously and they nodded. Steve took your hand and squeezed it. 

“You too, sweetheart.” He said. 

You nodded your head and smiled at him. You changed the subject quickly before Steve or Nat could pick up on your slight tell. “We split up. Steve right, Nat left. I’ll go down the middle. Ten minutes maximum then we meet back here. Radio silence unless necessary. Got it?” 

Both your husband and your granddaughter nodded before they each kissed your cheek and slipped out into the night. You watched them go anxiously before you pulled out your handheld scanner and glanced at the heat signatures left behind. 

It was true there were no heat signatures now but based on the residue you were picking up, someone who burned too hot to be entirely human had been inside not five minutes ago. You holstered your gun and then, because you weren’t completely stupid, you double tapped the arc reactor Tony had given you, letting the suit engulf you before you stepped out into the night and slowly stalked through the halls, keeping your eye on the readout in front of you. 

Bucky------------- 

The sound was so quiet he almost missed it, but Bucky’s head jerked back when he heard the familiar sound of the quinjet’s engines powering down. Bucky scrambled for the backpack next to the dirty mattress he’d passed a sleepless night on and threw it over his shoulders. 

He pulled a gun out of his jacket pocket and pulled the clip, quickly counting the bullets inside before he slammed it back into the gun and popped the safety off. He pushed to his feet and with all the grace and training of the world's deadliest assassin, he slipped out of the room and silently pushed through the halls, heading deeper into the facility. He ruthlessly gathered the scattered emotions and memories he was still trying to sort through and locked them in the back of his mind, letting himself slip into the darker part of himself that allowed him to compartmentalize ruthlessly. 

He didn’t know who had just landed but he’d be damned before he let them take him. HYDRA, SHIELD, they were two parts of the same coin that Bucky wanted nothing to do with. 

He wanted . . . he wanted you. But that ship had sailed long ago. 

Bucky rounded his shoulders and kept his gaze locked on the floor as he forced himself to take one step after another, leading him deeper into the maze of pain he desperately wanted to forget. He kept his ears focused, listening for the sounds of bodies entering or exiting the base but heard nothing. 

His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest as he moved deeper into the base and finally found the tunnels underneath that led to the hidden exit he’d so often been smuggled in and out of in the eighties. 

Bucky lost all sense of subtly as he hit the tunnels and raced forward, seeking the hatch that led him outside. If he could just get outside, he could disappear. Unless a person knew the dense forest surrounding the base, it was nearly impossible to track through. Especially in the dead of night. Bucky could be in the next town over by morning and on the train to Ukraine before anyone was any wiser. 

Bucky nodded to himself and cinched his backpack tighter to his chest before slipped the gun back in his pocket and grabbed hold of the ladder leading topside. He wasn’t going back. 

You------------------ 

You raced quickly through the hallways, knowing you didn’t have a lot of time. You didn’t have your gamma gun so you didn’t have active serum flowing through your veins. He wasn’t going to be a lot faster on foot than you but if you could find his exit point, you could hopefully fly overhead and spot him. Though from what little you remembered, the forest might be too dense for that approach. Still, you hoped beyond reason that you’d find something. You had to save him. 

You just had to. 

Your steps were loud and echoing as the metal of the suit slammed against the cold concrete and you tried not to wince knowing that he’d hear you coming a mile away. You swore under your breath and glanced down at the suit before you made your decision. You just had to trust that he still wanted answers more than he'd be inclined to hurt you. 

You double tapped the device and it fell away in your hand. You shoved it into your pocket, satisfied with your quiet footfalls now and your faster pace as you raced through the tunnels, keeping an eye on the heat signatures as you followed Bucky’s disappearing trail. 

It led you to a hatch at the end of a long tunnel. You didn’t hesitate to fling it open and pull yourself outside. You glanced down at your wrist and saw the timer ticking down still. You only had three minutes left before Steve and Natasha would expect you back at the jet and you couldn’t worry them again. 

You stumbled to a stop just outside the base as your training kicked into overdrive and the feeling of being watched flooded through you. 

You raised your hands slowly on either side of your head. You pulled the comm out of your ear and curled your fist around it. “I’m not going to hurt you.” You said in Russian, glancing around the trees as you moved slowly into the forest. “I just wanted to talk.” 

Bucky eyed you nervously, swallowing hard as he watched you from the comfort of the shadows. His heart hammered in his chest, making it hard to breath as two different sides of him warred against one another. 

“That’s what they all say!” He called back in hoarse Russian, tears prickling at his eyes. You’d come back. You’d come back for him. Warmth warmed his chest even as he took another few cautious steps backwards into the foliage behind him. 

You gasped and spun around, trying to pinpoint the sound of his voice and shook your head. “I’m not HYDRA. Please. You have to remember that at least.” You pleaded. 

He remembered it all, he wanted to say, but his mouth wouldn’t form the words as he took another step backwards. “I have nothing to give!” He called instead. 

You whirled around again as his voice echoed around you and your eyes took on a desperate light. “You don’t have to give anything. Please. I just want to help you.” 

Bucky shook his head in disbelief. How? How could you want to help him after everything he’d done? He was a monster. You were better off without him. 

You seemed to pick up on the direction of his thoughts as you shook your head frantically and changed the subject. “You wanted answers, right? You wanted to know who you were. I can tell you. I can tell you anything you want to know. Please.” 

Bucky didn’t say anything. What was there to say? He slunk further into the forest, gripping hard at the straps of his backpack with journals filled with broken sentences and half-finished sketches. So many of them had been pointing directly to you and he knew. He knew that if he went with you now, you’d find the good in him. You might even be able to get him to believe that there was still good left in him and that was something he couldn’t do. 

Both of you had been captured by HYDRA but only one of you hadn’t let the darkness corrupt your soul. He couldn’t do it to you. He wouldn’t. He’d let you go once all those years ago and he’d do it again. 

He was determined to. 

And then . . . 

“Bucky please.” Your broken voice stabbed at his heart in a way that nothing else had in the past seventy years. “Please don’t do this again.” 

A deep instinctual need to comfort you swept through him and he was powerless to resist as he stepped out of the shadows and moved towards you. 

Your eyes met his before he’d even fully emerged and you lowered your hands slowly to your sides as a faint, hopeful smile grew on your lips. 

Bucky breathed your name and your face lit up as tears flooded your eyes. “You remember?” You asked softly. 

Bucky nodded his head once. 

You took a step forward but froze when he tensed. You eyed him carefully. “Come back with me.” You said softly. 

Bucky shook his head, tears prickling his own eyes. “I . . . I can’t, doll.” He said. 

A tear slipped down your face at the sound of the familiar nickname spoken in a familiar tone of voice. 

“Where are you going to go?” You asked. 

He shook his head and shrugged a shoulder. 

Thousands of thoughts rushed through your head, all of them directed at how you could convince him to go with you. Bucky Barnes had left the single biggest hole in your heart for seventy years and the thought of him disappearing now nearly broke you. You knew if he disappeared now, you’d never see him again. 

None of the words racing through your head mattered. You knew that too. Bucky had been through so much and only he could be the one to decide whether or not to come back to you. Still, you had to try. 

“You belong with me." You pleaded, daring to take another step towards him. 

Bucky’s eyes were tired and worn as he glanced at you and then at the forest and back again. “I can’t, doll.” He said, his eyes begging you to understand when he couldn’t find the words to explain. 

You did, really. You alone were perhaps one of the few people on earth qualified to understand but you’d already lost him so many times throughout your long life and you couldn’t bear to do it again. 

You stepped even closer, still being careful not to tread too far into his personal space. “You can. You can though. Please. Please don’t leave us again. Please don’t leave me.” 

Bucky sighed deeply and squeezed his eyes shut. His metal hand adjusted his grip on his backpack before he reached out his flesh hand and touched the side of your face. “Why?” He asked desperately. “Why do you care?” 

“I never stopped caring!” You cried, the tears that had been threatening to fall, sliding down your cheeks. “I never stopped loving you!” 

Time seemed to freeze as Bucky processed your words. His hand froze against the side of your face and you could have sworn you heard him stop breathing too but you didn’t regret your words for a second. Nothing could have been truer. Steve owned your soul. He always would but you’d given your heart to Bucky seventy years ago and you’d never quite gotten it back. 

“What I did to you . . .” Bucky’s voice broke and his hand trailed down your neck to wrap around your back. He traced the line of your shirt carefully and could feel the ridges that were permanently etched on your skin there. You shook your head forcefully. 

“You did what you had to do.” You said firmly. 

“Doll . . . I hurt you.” Bucky said, desperate to get you to understand why he couldn’t stay. He had sworn that he loved you once. He'd sworn to protect you and he’d hurt you. Over and over again he’d tortured you, unable to resist the orders of his handlers. 

You set your chin and glared up at him. “Do you remember what I kept telling you over and over again every time they made you hurt me and you remembered? Do you remember what I made you promise me you’d never forget?” 

Tears made Bucky’s eyes swim, clouding his sight of you. He swallowed hard as the words came to him. “You said you weren’t the same bright-eyed girl I met the day your brother brought me to dinner seventy years ago.” Bucky’s voice was scarcely a whisper and you hardly heard him. You squeezed his wrist, keeping his hand pressed against your face as you urged him to continue. “You said you weren’t some doll-dizzy and were stronger than you looked.” 

You stepped closer until there was hardly any room in between you. “And then?” 

“And then you told me to do it. You told me to hurt you.” 

“Why?” You asked softly. “Why did I do it?” You reached up and brushed some of his hair out of his face and for the first time in seventy years, Bucky remembered what it was to be loved. 

“Because if I didn’t do it, they were going to hurt me. You said . . .” Bucky had to take a deep breath to calm himself as the bitter memories swam to the surface. “You said they could break every bone in your body. They could threaten everything you cared about. They could even kill you if they dared but they’d never break you. Not unless they tried to break me first.” 

You glanced behind you as you heard your soulmate’s nearly silent footsteps creeping towards you. Steve glanced between you and Bucky with an expression of hope burning in his eyes. 

You took a slow step back from Bucky and let the two long lost friends share one of their silent conversations before you held your hand out once more for Bucky to take. “Come with us.” You urged one last time. “You belong with us. You always have.” 

Bucky glanced at Steve who smiled encouragingly and then down at you again. He thought about the memories he was beginning to uncover and the love he remembered having for you. That he still had for you. He looked at the expression of desperate hope you wore. One that matched Steve’s in some ways but didn’t in others. He looked into the face of the woman he’d always loved and who had proved time and time again that she’d always loved him and he made his choice. One of the first he’d made in awhile. 

“Okay.” He said softly. 

“Okay?!” Your smile brightened and tears threatened to spill all over again. 

He nodded and reached out a hand to take yours. 

The second your palms connected, a flash of light burst out of them and you gasped as a piece of your soul that you hadn’t known was missing slid home. 

Bucky yanked his hand out of yours and stumbled back a few steps as he gasped in shock and glanced between you and Steve. Steve had a hand on your back and was whispering soothing words in your ear as your world settled around you again. 

“I’m fine.” You said, turning to Steve and smiling softly. 

You glanced up at Bucky who looked ready to bolt. “That . . . that didn’t happen . . . that didn’t happen last time.” He said softly, looking nervously between you and Steve. 

You shook your head and glanced at your husband with a question burning in your eyes. Steve nodded his head and smiled. “I think it was always meant to work out like this.” He said softly. 

You smiled at him before you turned to Bucky. 

You stretched your hand out towards him again and he stared at it dubiously. “We aren’t the same people we were back then, Bucky.” You reminded him softly as you stared at him. “Maybe we both just needed a little time.” 

Bucky swallowed hard as he glanced at your hand and then at your face again. 

“Come home.” You said simply, waiting for him to decide. 

Bucky took a deep breath and slid his hand into yours. You squeezed it softly and smiled at him and a piece of Bucky slid home too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. It's over.
> 
> Geez. I cried so hard writing this. 
> 
> But I cried even harder finishing it.
> 
> I LOVE your feedback, so please! Tell me! What did you think of this chapter? Would you be interested in this series continuing? What did you love? What did you hate?
> 
> Lemme know!
> 
> For those interested, here's a look at the current known timeline within the story.
> 
> 1917 - Bucky Barnes is born.  
> 1918 - Steve Rogers is born.  
> 1919 - You are born.  
> 1939 - WWII starts.  
> 1940 - Bucky almost proposes. You and Steve meet.  
> 1942 - Bucky enlists. Steve becomes Captain America.  
> 1945 - Bucky falls off the train. Steve goes into the ice. WWII ends. You and Peggy found SHIELD.  
> 1946 - You go to Russia due to Cold War rumors. You give birth to Alena.  
> 1947 - Cold War starts.  
> 1978 - Alena gets married.  
> 1984 - Natasha is born. You get caught by Russian authorities and are tortured by them and The Winter Soldier.  
> 1985 - You are rescued by SHIELD.  
> 1991 - Cold War ends.  
> 1992 - Alena and Viktor are murdered. Natasha is recruited to the Red Room.  
> 2006 - Clint recruits Natasha to SHIELD. You and Natasha are reunited.  
> 2009 - Your dementia sets in.  
> 2011 - Steve gets out of the ice.  
> 2012 - Battle of New York (First Avengers Movie). Steve finds out about you.  
> 2013 - You, Steve, Natasha and Clint move to Washington DC.  
> 2014 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins. You REMEMBER.  
> 2015 - Age of ULTRON. You're captured by The Winter Soldier. Bucky starts remembering.  
> 2015 - You and Bucky become soulmates. (Present Day).

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Prophecies? Things you want to see? General questions and comments?
> 
> I LOVE hearing from you guys! So don't be afraid to let me know!


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